The Hemp Connection [Search results for god] 

As with all professions, there’s a diversity of spiritual belief among psychotherapists, ranging from the atheists to devout Christians, Jews, Buddhists, Hindus, and Muslims. There are those who call themselves “spiritual but not religious,” and those who would say they’re agnostic, always questioning. Some outright label themselves as “Buddhist Psychologists” or “Christian Therapists.” Except in the latter case, it’s generally presumed that psychotherapy and spirituality are separate disciplines, and never the twain shall meet.

I have often wondered though, how a truly great therapist can be utterly godless. Surely it is helpful to have some construct in one’s mind that god, the universe, or some other greater sense of structure, belonging, and control might exist. Not only are we constantly exposed to the complex mysteries of the human brain, mind, heart, and soul, but we are also constantly exposed to the trauma, torture, disease, anger, loneliness, and sadness that brings people to our offices. All of these things are often inflicted by one human being upon another human being (child abuse, spousal abuse, introduction to addictive substances, etc.). There is a powerful depth of sadness present in the fabric and content of my work. It is especially present in issues of grief and loss, chronic illness, or terminal illness.

I always ask my clients about their spiritual background, beliefs, and practices. While I’m not qualified to be a spiritual counselor of any sort, this information gives me a context for a life, and helps to complete the description of a person. For some people, god is an explanation, a support, and a source of strength. For others, god is an excuse, or a punishing figure. Whether god is important to us personally, or in the moment, questions of god often lurk in the background. So for me, god may not be the main course, but s/he is surely present in many ways.

For example, if I have a client who lost her virginity as a result of rape, and she is a staunch Catholic, I know it’s likely that feelings of guilt and shame will be even more prominent for her. If someone had a punishing experience in parochial school and rejects organized religion, I know this is a deep wound, and the person’s sense of belonging and support has been taken away, along with their faith. When a client is suicidal, it is often faith in god, or a belief that god wouldn’t approve of suicide, that keeps the person from attempting suicide. Whether I believe in his or her form of god or not, I’ll take whatever help I can get!

In dealing with issues of chronic illness, and in particular PCOS, there’s often a lot of questioning: “Why me?” “Why did god do this to me?” “Isn’t god supposed to heal me, not make me sick?” These are important issues and needs to explore in therapy. Spirituality often relates to:

• feeling a sense of belonging;
• having faith that there is a reason, even if it’s unclear, for suffering;
• sense of powerlessness;
• ability to control;
• anger;
• need to assign blame;
• development of hopefulness;
• sources of shame, especially as related to sexuality; and
• need for explanations.

Of course it’s not just spirituality or god that provides the answers to these big questions. But in the therapist’s toolbox, addressing spirituality and how it presents in your life is part of the process of developing greater internal strength. God may be part of that. Allowing me to know you in this way is an important part of knowing how you think, what you believe in, where you feel strong, and where you feel weak, so that I can help you to repair the gaps. The ability to access my intuition and connection to a spiritual source helps me to context suffering, illness, trauma, and grief in a way that allows me to remain focused on what you need. It may also be a resource I can draw your attention back to when the going gets tough. In a nutshell, that’s what god’s got to do with it.

Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. is a Health Psychologist in private practice in West Los Angeles, California. She has completed the inCYST training. She specializes in counseling women and couples who are coping with infertility, PCOS, and related endocrine disorders and chronic illnesses.

If you would like to learn more about Dr. HOUSE or her practice, or obtain referrals in the Los Angeles area, please visit her website at www.drhousemd.com, or e-mail her at AskDrHouseMD@gmail.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @askdrhousemd.

OK, I watched the interview. I've also been talking to women seeking infertility treatment for going on 10 years. I've heard the same story coming from Atlanta, Columbus, and Sacramento. In that time, I've also worked to create a program that serves as an alternative for those who could benefit. I think I've got enough observations under my belt to contribute an informed opinion about what goes on in the incredibly emotional, expensive, and at times, dangerous, world of reproductive endocrinology.

First and foremost, the fact that we can create babies in so many ways other than the one Mother Nature originally designed…is pretty much a miracle. It is a gift that we as medical professionals can provide this help. That's right, it's a gift. We should accept it with humility and treat it with respect. I never forget that. Every single time I have a new appointment, in person or on the phone, I pause to say a prayer,"God, your will, not mine." I take this work that seriously.

There are some incredible practitioners out there who do their work with respect and humility. However, because infertility treatment is, much of the time, not a medical issue that insurance will pay for…it is a huge money maker for those who practice it. Which means it also attracts individuals with reasons other than altruism for being in the business.

And it is those practitioners who, unfortunately, have pushed the science of reproductive endocrinology ahead much more quickly than those with a conscience have been able to formulate and communicate appropriate codes of ethics by which that science would best be used.

Let's look at how the dynamic develops.

1. You've got a woman who believes she's 100% normal in the reproductive department, who assumes that when the time comes, she'll marry, have children, and happily continue the cycle of life. She may go to the doctor for a routine physical or go because she's not been able to conceive after 6 months of trying. She's told she may have trouble having children. She may be told that she may not be able to have children. Or…as many of my own clients have shared, she may be told that there is no way she will have children without paying thousands of dollars to the man in front of her to make it happen. She has been told that, instead of creating a life with her significant other, in a loving and intimate environment, she must consent to an expensive, invasive, very sterile, and potentially humiliating procedure which can leave her feeling more like a laboratory rat than a beautiful woman and loving-mother-in-the-works. And the person who will be making this happen is not only not someone who loves her, but someone who's going to hand her a huge invoice at the end of the encounter.

2. The combination of desperation on one side of the room and greed on the other…is highly likely to not play out in a way that prioritizes honesty and integrity.

3. A very high percentage of the women I encounter in this work are intelligent and high achieving; everything they've ever wanted in life, from an education, a career, a home of their own, has been attainable with focus and hard work. So being told that one of life's most basic functions, fertility, may not be yours for the taking, becomes one of the most frustrating, confining, maddening, esteem-assaulting things they've ever been forced to ask to accept. The only thing left to throw at the situation is…you guessed it…money.

4. And because this population is so high-achieving and intelligent, they often have that money. Money that can pay for procedures they may not necessarily need. But that they are highly likely to spend because their desperation is being viewed as a profit center for the person sitting on the stool next to their examination table.

5. It just goes downhill from there. On almost a daily basis at this point, I have a conversation with someone who's been through this wringer who finds this blog, who wants help and has been so brainwashed into believing that her problem is so bad that only tens of thousands of dollars and a person with a certain diploma on the wall can fix it. Even when we put solutions and testimonials and support on this blog, completely for free, the sales job these women have been given is so complete and so convincing, dozens and dozens and dozens of women do not even give any other kindler, gentler, less invasive and dangerous option an iota of consideration. So they empty out their bank accounts. Sometimes they get a baby. Sometimes they don't.

When I do my PCOS trainings, I always invite women with the syndrome to come in and share their stories to those who want to help women who have this diagnosis. I do it because I want those who have no experience with the infertility world to understand just how much anxiety and depression their future clients have. They need to understand just how much compassion we owe them when they come to us for help.

Sometimes I sit and listen to the spiels these women have been given about what they must do (which invariably includes making a monthly payment on their physician's mountain home) in order to have a family. And I wonder why this guy bothered spending all the money to get a medical degree when he could simply have left high school and made much bigger fortune selling used cars at the parking lot down the street.

I reiterate, I have had the good fortune of meeting and working with many kind, compassionate, intelligent, and ethical reproductive endocrinologists. I am happy to support their work and the miracles they have been given the talents and power to create.

But I also have a lot of trouble with physicians who forget that they are not God. They are not even one step away from God. They're preying on insecurity and desperation that risks the lives of the women asking for help and the babies who didn't even ask to be part of the situation.

I'm not at all happy to hear this story coming out of California. But…maybe the fact that this happened will encourage more scrutiny of the entire reproductive industry as a whole. Maybe we'll finally work on a code of ethics to protect all of the lives involved. Those who do this work for the right reason deserve to shine and be rewarded. And those who would be better off selling Yugos…can be nudged into the polyester suits and those dusty, moldy offices on America's seediest of car lots.

PCOS can be devastating in so many ways, but it doesn't have to dictate life. In the midst of such an endocrine storm there can be hope and healing. I shared my story before of being a Registered Dietitian with PCOS. My struggle is not unlike others. I suffered through infertility and miscarriage which lead to severe depression; but by God's grace I overcame it. My sincere wish is to offer you a different perspective on PCOS, one with hope.

I see it time and time again with my patients. Women diagnosed with PCOS and their obsession to have a baby. It overtakes them. It overtook me. The desire and yearning to have a child envelopes one to the point where it controls life. If you've been through this, you understand what I am describing. Stress becomes a constant companion. You become crazed with counting days, planning relations at the exact time, to obsessing over blood levels. Shouldn't this whole baby-making-thing be fun?! I was so consumed with getting pregnant that my lifestyle became my roadblock to fertility. The stress was too much. I reached a point of total exhaustion, physically, emotionall, physically and financially. I was literally spent. Have you reached that wall? It was not until I came to the point of accepting my current status, that I was able to see things more clearly.

Our first son came miraculously. When you are told you will never conceive on your own, hope seems to disappear. But the great thing about hope is that it never dies. I conceived the old fashion way but had a pregnancy laden with complications. From gestational diabetes, to preterm labor, to my c-section incision reopening, and failure to breastfeed, I pretty much had most of the textbook complications. Thankfully, our son was born perfectly healthy and is turning 5 in a few days. Of course, the yearning for another child came shortly after and again the"wait" began.

I could feel the old obsession rearing its ugly head and I desperately did not want to live like that again. Miraculously, I met Monika Woolsey and the PCOS puzzle pieces fell into place. I changed my focus and began to dedicate myself to a healthier lifestyle. I purposed in my heart to become healthier so that when that perfect time came again, I was prepared to give my baby the best possible environment to grow in. Omega 3's are gifts from Heaven! My regimen became one of fish oil supplements, healthier way of eating and truly taking time to"smell the roses". I looked at exercise differently. I enjoyed doing it and it paid off! I lost 40 pounds and kept it off. A little over a year later, surprise! I found out I was pregnant; another miracle. Our second son is due in mid August and this pregnancy has been much healthier.

There is no quick fix or magic pill to guarentee a child. However, hold onto hope. There is always hope. My children are miracles. My oldest son because of being told I would never conceive on my own. I trust in a greater physician and He saw fit to bless me with a baby. My youngest son because we weren't sure if my husband could father any more children after having a kidney transplant in 2005. Again, God had different plans. Perhaps a perspective adjustment might be all you need. Never give up hope, it endures.

Marie Mariano RD, LDN, CDE
Hannah's Heart Ministries
p.o. box 3304
Boardman, OH 44513
hannahsheartministries@hotmail.com
330-717-5345

This past week I was watching The Biggest Loser. Not because I endorse their methods for weight loss, but because so many of you watch that show, it's almost required viewing for my job, to know what's being said and how to address it should it come up in our Facebook group.

I was appalled to watch one of the trainers, while a participant was doing situps, dropping a medicine ball on the poor guy's stomach. Nothing about that segment modeled respect for self or others, in my opinion, and it could have done serious damage to the participant. But that is what seems to happen in the world of weight loss. Once your weight exceeds what is deemed medically and culturally acceptable, the rest of the world seems to act as if they automatically have a license to decide how to"fix" you. The behaviors can range from looks into your grocery basket when you're shopping, suggestions that you're somehow not"doing enough" if your weight loss is not linear and predictable (as illustrated by the closeups of the shocked looks of the Biggest Loser trainers when someone does not lose, or…God forbid…gains weight, the assumption that if things are not going the way the trainer needs them to go in order to be the"good trainer"), that the participant must be the one to blame.

PCOS creates an even more frustrating scenario for physicians, dietitians, trainers, family members, everyone watching on as a woman decides she's going to lose weight. We've learned over the years that in many ways PCOS is counterintuitive. When you diet too strictly, weight goes on. When you exercise too much, weight goes on. It seems to be the"canary in the coalmine," so to speak, of imbalances in your life that need to be addressed. And, unfortunately, if you're a person of extremes, and you resort to fixing one extreme with another extreme, you're likely going to find yourself in a place where you plateau, gain weight, etc., with at least a half-dozen people looking on, with a million suggestions for"fixing" the problem.

Years ago I was a dietitian in an eating disorder treatment center. I was literally responsible for the weight gains of anorexics, the weight loss of women with binge eating disorder, and to be sure that bulimics who had been abusing laxatives did not gain too much weight during their withdrawal from those drugs.

Take the scenario I described above and multiply it by 36, which was the census of the treatment center. I absolutely hated Monday and Thursday mornings because those were staff meetings. I had to meet for three hours each morning with all of the therapists, physicians, etc., and discuss the progress of all of the women we were helping. If, God forbid, the weight of one person was not EXACTLY what I'd projected, I was put on the spot to (1) explain why and (2) come up with a remedy. Suggesting that healing from dietary imbalances of any kind was complex and that we were not in charge of all of the parts of the solution was not an option. Much of the rest of the week was spent with patients, family members, and insurance case managers, having the same conversations. In one case it was an attorney of a beauty queen who insisted she'd been promised prior to admission that she would not gain weight despite needing to withdraw from her box-a-day laxative habit and since her temporary fluid gain was in the double digits, I was to blame.

Can you tell how much I thought this job sucked?

The piece de resistance came during one stretch, when we had an overload of laxative abusers in the house (no pun intended) and my boss, desperate to be able to show good weight progress to insurance companies and keep her own"success" record high, asked me to come up with a solution. This was in the days before the Internet, and so I asked to be able to take a day in the local medical library researching intestinal health and dietary strategies. My request was denied. Instead, I was asked to create some type of"cocktail" that would"clean out or speed up the 'progress'" of the constipated individuals.

I looked at my boss and said,"I am a dietitian. I am not a plumber."

As you can guess, it was the beginning of the end of that job, which I actually eventually walked off of, because that particular situation was merely one of many I was expected to endorse that in good conscience I could not.

I learned humility in that job. An Ivy League degree and a master's degree plus stints at Stanford, Apple Computer, and the professional sports world, could not fix what was broken in these women. Only time, self-nurturing, and patience. Every single time I watch The Biggest Loser, I am reminded of that job. And how so many people I worked with based their own success on a patient's numbers recorded in a medical chart. Not on how well she was asserting herself, or sleeping, or challenging herself to eat salad dressing. It was all about the number. That it wasn't about the healers at all, but about empowering our patients to have the confidence to take care of themselves so well that they could fire us because they didn't need us anymore, was completely forgotten.

I guess I was inspired to write this piece because ever since I saw that medicine ball, I've been thinking how badly I wanted the poor guy on the floor to just stand up, tell the trainer to bite it, and walk off the ranch. Because he was being taught that somehow, because of the position he'd found himself in, needing to lose weight, he deserved to be punished and humiliated in the process of regaining his self-esteem. Yup, he had to be humiliated in order to develop self-esteem.

Don't ever let anyone, and I mean ANYONE — a medical professional, coach, or loved one, cause you to believe that they know better than you, what you need for yourself. Or that because your weight is not changing at a rate that THEY have determined is appropriate, that you're somehow doing something wrong. Or that what they have to say about your health supercedes what you believe about your health.

As Eleanor Roosevelt once said,"No one can take away your self-respect, unless you allow them to."

This post continues our mini-series on PCOS and the grief process. Today, we’ll focus on anger, which is the second stage of the grief model known as DABDA (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance). Anger is a tricky emotion. People often label anger as bad, or undesirable. They deny it, refute it, avoid it, hide it, and act out around it. Anger and sadness that feel unmanageable are two of the most common reasons people show up in my office.

In death and dying, the person who is dying may be angry at god, the doctors, herself, her family, the guy who gave her the disease, the environment, and a number of other things. Likewise, the loved ones who are losing someone may have the same types of anger. In chronic illness, we may have the same targets for our anger, which may result in self-hatred, low self-esteem, acting out, and damaged relationships.

There is SO much to be angry about when it comes to PCOS, I’m sometimes surprised that we’re not all raging, all the time. At various times in learning that you have PCOS, and then starting to deal with it, and then just living with it for a long time, you might experience anger towards:

• God, because you have it
• The universe, for creating this thing
• Doctors, because they can’t cure it
• Your parents, because they gave you the genes that cause it
• Any woman who doesn’t have it
• Men, because they can’t have it
• The medical industry, because they haven’t cured it either
• Your body, because it’s not working “right”
• Other people, for not understanding
• Anyone who has children, if you want them and don’t or can’t have them
• Anyone who seems to enjoy perfect health, in spite of living an obviously unhealthy lifestyle (think, daily consumer of fast food who still has a perfect cholesterol panel, and no weight issues)
• Yourself, for not doing your self-care better, or more perfectly
• Any other medical professional, personal trainer, or other well-meaning individual you’ve ever encountered who said something stupid, irrelevant, pointless, misdirected, or just generally lame, in an effort to get your body to behave
• Dieticians who tell you what to eat without understanding your particular brain chemistry

All of this anger might lead you to act out, which could look like:

• Eating whatever you want, whenever you want – in spite of knowing better
• Failure to exercise – again, in spite of knowing better
• Overspending – because if you’re going to be fat, you might as well look good
• Unhealthy sexual behavior – “I’ll take whatever I can get, since no one would want me otherwise.”
• Manifesting other illnesses that are stress-related
• Being verbally or emotionally abusive towards your spouse, your kids, or others

Note that these things are not purely related to anger; they may also be indicators of other conditions, including mental health disorders.

These are big lists, and you are absolutely right to have a lot of anger about a lot of things related to PCOS. But you can’t live in anger all the time. Well, you can, but it’s surely not a healthy choice. So, how do you deal with all this anger, and get it out of your system, so you can move on to something more productive? And why do you even need to do that in the first place? I believe you need to get over the anger for the simple reason that Freud was right on this count – anger turned inwards becomes depression, and we’ve already got enough trouble with that, given the hormonal set-up we’re dealing with. Also, it tends to lead to negativity, self-hatred, and a more pessimistic perspective, none of which is helpful.

You can get rid of your anger in a lot of ways. Journaling, talking to friends, and talk therapy are certainly good choices. Creative expressions may help as well – creating collages, photographs, movies, music, or poetry that express your feelings are all great. I don’t like to encourage violence, but some clients report that there can be some great satisfaction in doing things like playing one of those video games where things explode when you hit them.

In other words, anger is actually a healthy emotion, but you’ve got to handle it the right way. Next week, we’ll address the concept of bargaining, in the context of grieving your PCOS.

Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. is a Health Psychologist in private practice in West Los Angeles, California. She has completed the inCYST training. She specializes in counseling women and couples who are coping with infertility, PCOS, and related endocrine disorders and chronic illnesses.

If you would like to learn more about Dr. HOUSE or her practice, or obtain referrals in the Los Angeles area, please visit her website at www.drhousemd.com, or e-mail her at AskDrHouseMD@gmail.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @askdrhousemd.

I recently completed Monika's workshop in Columbus and have come away feeling renewed on several levels. As a registered dietitian and certified diabetes educator, I always felt inadequate like I should have this all together. My shame regarding my weight and several other symptoms of PCOS held me back from many things, both personally and professionally. Monika asked if I would share my story at the workshop with two other brave dietitians. I had told my story many times before, but this time was different. I had a connection to these women for what we all had gone through regarding our own PCOS. I felt for the first time that I was not alone in my thoughts about myself and that they too had felt the same way I did when it came to the many issues PCOS brings.

My journey with PCOS is not that different from many other women. Eventually my diagnosis come when my husband and I could not conceive after 4 years. At that point the desperation for a baby completely consumed me and I did everything my reproductive endocrinologist wanted. I was relieved to hear that there was a name for what I had been experiencing and that I wasn't going crazy. However, I could not see past"the baby" to the bigger picture. We did the clomid and IUI and the very first try I conceived! I was on cloud nine only to fall into a pit of despair a few weeks later. I had miscarried at 6 weeks. Shattered, I fell into a deep depression and sought counseling. But, the next year consisted of such an emotional roller coaster of month after month attempts to try to get pregnant via IUI to no avail. Financially and emotionally drained, we gave up. But, it doesn't end there.

My deep faith in God is undoubtedly what got me through such a terrible time. For whatever reason, He chose to close my womb. I asked Him to take the burning desire to have a child away, but it only got stronger. MUCH TO OUR SURPRISE, 2 months later I conceived with out the help of doctors; the old fashion way! I was on metformin, but this was a miracle! What followed was a very difficult, high risk pregnancy, complicated with gestational diabetes and preterm labor. My son was born at 37 weeks and is a happy, precocious 4 year old today! I did have post partum issues as well, with depression and failure to continue to breast feed after 4 weeks. I wish I had known about Monika and Omega-3's effect on PCOS back then, but I believe all things happen for a reason.

I know that my experience has made me a more empathetic and effective practitioner. My heart is to reach out to others suffering through the devastating effects of PCOS. Hopefully, I can help someone grieving through the infertility and child loss that I experienced.

Hannah's Heart Ministries was born out of my own grief. We are in the very early stages and are in the process of raising funds to become a 501c3 (non-profit) organization. The foundation of our ministry is to help those grieving through infertility and pregnancy loss. Hannah's Heart's Board is made up of several other women who have their own experience with infertility and child loss as well. If you would like more information for your patients or yourself, our contact info is: Hannah's Heart Ministries P.O. Box 3304 Boardman, OH 44513 or call me at 330-717-5345.

I cannot express just how grateful I am to Monika and all of you who have dedicated yourselves to helping women suffering with PCOS. As a fellow" cyster" I appreciate a practitioner who sees me more than just my diagnosis; someone who sees all of me and and who seeks to treat the big picture, especially the emotional component.

I would love to hear any of your comments, questions or concerns. Thank you for"listening" and God Bless You in your work!
Marie Mariano

This week we’ll talk about bargaining, from the perspective of how bargaining plays out in relationship to our PCOS, and the sadness and grief that are often parts of PCOS. Bargaining is part of the DABDA (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) model that is typically applied to chronic/terminal illness. In the dying process, bargaining looks quite similar to what it looks like in PCOS, although it tends towards making deals with god, or trying to manipulate doctors. In PCOS, it looks more like this:

• Making a deal with god to be more attentive to him/her, if only the PCOS will go away
• Trying to negotiate with doctors – “Okay, so I’ll take the metformin like you said, but I’m still going to keep eating fast food, and it should all balance out, right?”
• Negotiating with your dietician, personal trainer, etc. – “I’ll do the cardio, but then I don’t have to do weights today.” Or, “I’ll come in three times a week, but only if you cut your fee in half.” Or, “Look, I know that dark green leafy vegetables are really good for me, but they give me gas, so can’t I just have a (pre-sweetened, sugar-laden, actually junk food) yogurt instead?” (HUH?! As you can see, we get very creative with our attempts to avoid what we don’t want, and get what we do want instead.)
• Over-exercising in order to compensate for eating badly – we develop a strange, twisted, internal logic that allows us to, essentially, do whatever we want. We convince ourselves that there are no consequences.
• Eating badly but taking lots of medication or supplements – this is another favorite form of a secret internal balancing plan that absolutely has no scientific or logical merit. It doesn’t just apply to food.
• Figuring, I’m young, I can do what I want until ___ age, then I’ll behave – the damage is occurring now, the bad habits are just getting more cemented as daily behavior, etc.

And here’s the thing about these games that we play with ourselves, our partners, and the professionals who try to help us – who’s it hurting? Really? You know the answer to this one. It’s only hurting you. I know reality is uncomfortable, but you’re spending so much energy on this bogus bargaining practice. What if you applied all of that energy to grounding yourself in reality, and taking small, manageable steps towards getting your self-care practices in line with what you know (or at least believe) to be true?

Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. is a Health Psychologist in private practice in West Los Angeles, California. She has completed the inCYST training. She specializes in counseling women and couples who are coping with infertility, PCOS, and related endocrine disorders and chronic illnesses.

If you would like to learn more about Dr. HOUSE or her practice, or obtain referrals in the Los Angeles area, please visit her website at www.drhousemd.com, or e-mail her at AskDrHouseMD@gmail.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @askdrhousemd.

I am not a skin expert, at all, but since we have so many women we work with who have skin problems, I am very interested in skin health. We are grateful to have Susan Van Dyke, MD, board-certified cosmetic dermatologist, as a resource when we do have questions about skin.

I am not a naturopath, either, but we do work with a lot of women who have decided they would rather treat their PCOS using complementary techniques when possible, rather than traditional Western medicine. And that is why we are grateful to have Susan Lundgren, ND, a naturopathic physician with an interest in women's health, in our network.

I do a lot of Tweeting, and because I interact with both Dr. Van Dyke and Dr. Lundgren in that network, I have come on to the radars of quite a few beauty/skin and natural medicine companies. So the other day, when a company sent me information about a new"natural botox", I knew exactly what to do. Ask the experts!

The new botox, called Natox, is being marketed as the natural alternative to Botox. According to its website, it is a skin cream with"100% natural ingredients". It has not been animal tested, it is paraben free, and it is"eco-emission" friendly (translate: comes in a glass bottle). The product claims to be scientifically proven, and one study has been provided, conducted in South Africa. However, the sample size in this study, the dose of cream, and the length of treatment were not provided. This is pretty basic information and its absence is suspect. No before/after photos (unretouched or otherwise) are provided. It is said to work by using"high energy discharges at specific frequencies to create uniquely structured resonating particles" OK, whatever.

I sent the information to the docs and here is what they said.

Dr. Van Dyke:

Marketing, nothing like Botox. BTW: Botox in natural (botulinum toxin is God-made).

Good point! We tend to think that Western doctors don't use nature, at all, and that is not true!

Dr. Lundgren:

It does not give any real science" microscopic, electromagnetically charged particles to relax nerve endings." That doesn't say how it relaxes the nerve endings- I want to contact them to find the exact mode of action. Also I found it funny that they said botox is not natural- those little botulism bacteria are very natural I just would not want them in my body: )

So there you have it. Both doctors, from different perspectives, agree, there is not a lot of valid scientific information supporting the claims this product makes. That's what happens when it's good science. It doesn't matter what the training, there will be a recognition of facts.

Twice in the past week comments with somewhat of a religious energy about them have been sent my way. One set of comments came from someone who was using the Bible to try and argue that something we were doing at inCYST was not appropriate. Another came from an atheist who felt that we should not be incorporating religion or spirituality of any kind in our work.

Both sets of comments came unsolicited, and it is timely that in that same week, a post from Dr. Gretchen that she had scheduled weeks before went live with thoughts about God and spirituality.

I figured it was my opportunity to share where we stand on that. Actually where we stand on quite a few things.

We at inCYST are here to help. We have Christians amongst us, but we are not a Christian organization. We also have Buddhists, and some of us are Jewish. And we do have an atheist or two.

We do not identify ourselves by our religion. We do practice religion or lack thereof, but it's not what we use as our identity.

Whether you are Hindu, Atheist, Wiccan, or Catholic, you have a pancreas, lungs, and a heart. Most of you have a uterus. All of you have brains. Last time I checked, an Atheist brain worked the same way as a Christian one did…the only difference is the thoughts and emotions those brains generate. It doesn't matter to me what those thoughts and emotions are, I care most that the brain is operating in a healthy environment and to its fullest capacity.

If Christianity is your spiritual perspective, we seek to understand how it supports your path to wellness and to incorporate that into our recommendations. If you're an Atheist, then we'll work to understand and support that as well.

We'll do the same for Democrats, Republicans, Libertarians, lesbians, heterosexuals, transsexuals, 25-year-olds, 65-year-olds, men, women, Latinas, African Americans, Caucasians, Hungarians, Australians, people living in the city, people in the boonies, people on an island.

We don't look for reasons to separate ourselves from you. We look for ways to connect and support.

We work in health care, with anxious and hurting people. We really don't have the luxury of dividing people into piles and deciding which ones are more worthy of helping. When they come to you, and you have information and resources that can help them, you use them on behalf of helping them.

To the person who used the Bible to scold, I don't think that the Bible was intended to be used as a means to scold. To the Atheist who asked us not to incorporate spirituality, I'll kindly not force religion on you since that is not something you wish, but for those who ask us to consider their spiritual path in our work together, we will gladly honor their request.

Everyone who comes to this blog comes for a reason — they need help. And every single one of those individuals is valued…and welcome.

I wanted to post a testimonial from a client. He volunteered to do this, I did not ask him for it. My sincere hope, in training inCYST professionals, is that this is the experience each and every woman has when reaching out and asking for help. We understand that you are not just patients or lab values, but rather individuals with your own sets of experiences, anxieties, and hopes, that must be respected and accommodated in our work together. The photo is of me at this baby's baptism.

B, thank you for the testimonial. I am not sure who benefitted most from our time together, as I learned an incredible amount from this collaboration! Being asked to come to the hospital to see baby Brianna, and to attend her baptism, was such an honor. I will never forget how it felt to look at her, and hold her, and tangibly experience the value of this work.

I have asked the other members of inCYST's network to share testimonials as well. They do wonderful work, and I want to use this forum to share their passions and how they benefit those who work with them for better health. I look forward to sharing their stories!
Monika

It was two years ago when we first met Monika. I remember it like yesterday. We were desperate but also tired of the empty promises.

In the previous 18 months, my wife and I had been on an emotional rollercoaster. My wife had been tested for thyroid issues, infertility, hormone imbalances. Each doctor was confident they knew what was wrong and it was a simple fix. Take this prescription and diet. When that did not work it was go to this specialist or that one. Even at the mighty Mayo Clinic we were disappointed. During this time we had our first miscarriage. I remember the night vividly. We went to the emergency room knowing something was wrong. We were first triaged by an RN, she ordered a pregnancy test, a UA, ultrasound and every blood test she could think of. After six hours we were scared to death and still had not seen the ER physician. My wife’s pain was increasing. My wife started to bleed. We were reassured the doctor would be with us soon. She ended up miscarrying in the restroom of the ER. We finally had the ultrasound. We finally saw that doctor; he was abrupt and in a hurry. He spent five minutes with us explaining that we had miscarried and gave us a booklet for grieving. We were also to follow up with our OB/gyn for a D&C. In addition to a 3,000 dollar bill.

It took a few days for my wife’s physical pains to subside, but the emotional ones were just beginning. It almost tore us apart. She had the feeling that she was broken and tried to push me away. Everything reminded us of our loss. It is amazing how many sad stories you see about abused or abandoned children when you can not have one. Several months had passed and our OB diagnosed my wife with PCOS. Though the ultrasound showed no cysts, all the other symptoms were there. My wife was placed on metformin. This was to stabilize her insulin. She started the medication but her mood swings and frustration increased. She exercised two to four hours every day for four months. She was obsessed with losing weight and returning to “normal”. The weight did not come off and she was giving up. I decided to spend my spare time researching PCOS. The research was inconclusive as to the correct treatment course. Most suggested controlling insulin through diet and medication. There were several online programs and institutes which promised to have the answer. We were sucked in and for another few months we tried some different approaches. None seemed to be very effective. We had given up on the idea of having children and I just wanted my wife back. With every new promise was a disappointment. Unfortunately my wife was becoming frustrated with herself. We stopped spending time with friends and calling family. The thing most people do not understand is that it is not just your disappointment as a couple, but explaining to your friends and families that is devastating. I decided to continue my diligence with my research and found several dieticians and nutritionists who were publishing and focusing on PCOS. This is how we came to know Monika Woolsey. I did not even tell my wife about Monika at first. I did not want another false hope. Once I hung up the phone with Monika, I felt that she might be able to help. She did not promise results of pregnancy or a magic pill to fix everything. She said simply that every woman is different as is the approach. She continued to ask question after question. Throughout this entire rollercoaster I finally felt we found someone who is sincerely interested in helping us. We were not just another case. I did not know Monika’s intentions or if her ideas would work but we had a glimmer of hope. Monika surprised us a little when she wanted to visit our home. I did not understand but we agreed. When Monika arrived she was not what I expected she was “down to earth” and seemed very easy to talk with. She also was very knowledgeable about the disease process. I found her caring and very sensitive to what we have gone through. Though she was very nice I was not looking for a friend but a knowledgeable professional. I was put in my place very quickly after challenging her on a few topics. She had read all that I have and more. She has done her homework. She described this as a journey of trials and seeing what works because each woman is different and has different symptoms. Though our time was up she was truly invested and stayed an additional two hours. Till the time our questions were answered.

My wife started with fish oil and flaxseed oil in addition to a session of acupuncture. We also were educated on reading labels and identifying pure foods. I am in the medical field and did not put much stock in this approach. To put it mildly I was a skeptic. However after spending two months on the program my wife was getting back to her typical self and feeling much better. Some evenings we would call or e-mail Monika with questions. She was never to busy to take time for us. We were perfectly content with our changes. My wife’s moods were stabilizing and her menstruations were becoming more regular. Out of the blue we found out that we were pregnant. This was not expected or planned. Monika never promised or led us to believe that pregnancy would be the result. Her plan was simple. Make my wife feel better and regain control.

When Monika found out she was very happy for us but she did not seem to be surprised. She mentioned that this has happened with several couples that were told they would never have children. I can say that my wife will always have PCOS but at least we have the knowledge to control it. We had our beautiful daughter on July 21 2009. It was an amazing day. We have included a picture of Monika and our daughter Brianna. God gives us trials in life and we have had our fair share. In saying that I would not change a thing.

Monika, thank you for all you have done for us

Sincerely B & I.

This morning, I was a substitute for another yoga instructor at the yoga studio where I teach classes weekly. This was a 6:15 am class, which, needless to say, is earlier than I am used to getting out of bed, and I admit, it was a “I NEED two cups of coffee” kind of morning. Arriving early, I set-up for class and began chatting with the woman who works the front desk checking in students. She (we will call her Abby) told me that she began practicing yoga when she was forty years old and is currently eighty-three. I thought to myself “WOW! That’s some serious dedication and a beautiful example of a life practice.”
Soon thereafter, students began to arrive and it was a full house with thirteen students of all ages and levels (including another yoga instructor). It was a level 1-2 class, so I started with a gentle warm-up and then picked up the pace after I assessed the level of each student. Abby, to my surprise, was gracefully flowing through the sequences with obvious strength and ease. When we finally made it to the floor for our finishing poses, I offered variations of Hanumanasana (“Monkey Pose” or “Full Splits”). I attended my first yoga class when I was nineteen; I am now thirty-three. I became certified to teach two and a half years ago and I believe it will be years, or perhaps never (and I am okay with that too), before my hips are open enough to expand into the full expression of this pose. But, there was Abby, rockin’ the full expression of this pose! This particular pose is dedicated to the “monkey God,” Hanuman, who is a figure in Hindu mythology and “is worshiped as a symbol of physical strength, perseverance and devotion.” It was abundantly clear to me that Abby represented all of this and I left class that day with a new perspective… when you are ready, yoga will be there, waiting for you utilize it as a tool to balance and guide you through this crazy roller coaster called life!

Perhaps you have been contemplating integrating yoga into your life and I now ask you to consider this quote by Carl Sandburg, “The time for action is now. It’s never too late to do something.” Go ahead, take a “leap of faith,” perhaps finding inspiration in another and be brave enough to try something new (it doesn’t even have to be yoga!). It really is never too late. With that said, stay tuned, inCYST is excited to announce our newest program… online yoga classes with yours truly to support women with PCOS. About the author:
Sarah Jones started out as inCYST's very first intern, has completed the inCYST training, and is inCYST’s very first registered yoga teacher. She taught the yoga component of our workshop series at Metta Yoga. Sarah is currently completing her nutrition studies at Arizona State University and is graduating with a Bachelor of Science Degree in Dietetics in December, 2012. If you'd like to practice yoga with Sarah, please visit Metta Yoga's website for her current schedule.
Pictures obtained from: www.nicefun.net and http://www.exoticindiaart.com/article/hanuman/

I'm inspired to write this post as a result of having a handful of women follow our advice on their own, and once they discovered they were pregnant, they reached out and asked for help.

I am truly honored and flattered that these women have reached out. What is heartbreaking for me is, that in more than one case, by the time they reached out, there was not much I could do…and the story has not always had a happy ending.

I am not writing this to shame or scold anyone, or to suggest that I could have changed the course of anyone's pregnancy. I am not God and I do not aspire to be.

But when I read these posts collectively, it strikes me that while some of you really, really wish to have a child, you don't believe you can. Of course you don't. There is a whole industry out there needing you to believe that, because that belief on your part is what keeps them in business.

So you kind of sort of try what we offer, for a day here, a day there, and even if the changes are sporadic, they are enough to gently shift your hormones in the direction they should be going. For at least part of the journey. But not all of it. And when the journey abruptly ends, it is not just your heart that breaks. My heart breaks too.

My wish for all of you, is that before you embark on this journey, you commit to believing in it. You cannot have trepidation. You cannot just dip your toes in the water and run the minute it gets hard. You have to believe you can do this. All of it. The better sleep habits, the better eating habits, all of it. You have to do it without a"what if?" in your head. Because if you're kind of sort of doing this, and a pregnancy catches you off guard, you may have done a lot of what you need to do, but not enough.

Again, I'm not here to shame you. At all. It is far worse for me to see some of you nearly hit the finish line…only to have it snatched from you just as you thought you had it. I think it is worse than never seeing it at all.

The time to commit to this taking better care of yourself thing, is now. Not if and when you conceive. Nothing we ask you to do here is wacky, expensive, toxic. All we are doing is showing you how to self-nurture. It is doable, and should be done. Now. Not just because you want to conceive, but because you deserve to take care of yourself.

We cannot treat individual cases here on this blog, so while we give you an awful lot of information and some of it works really well for some of you, it is not sufficient for everyone.

I encourage you to either get involved in a Power Up for PCOS group where you can access more detailed information, or reach out and ask for an individual consultation. Yes, there is a lot of information to be had for free on the Internet. And yes, there are really expensive options you can buy. We aspire to be right in the middle, to be the best we can be with the information we are really good with. Sometimes it does require an investment.

We would love to invest in your learning how to invest the best possible self-care you can give yourself. Don't put it off until you conceive. Make it part of your conception plan.

I got my start in this specialty in a nontraditional fashion. Even though I did a lot of work in endocrinology initially, I gravitated into sports nutrition, and from there, eating disorders. I initially started my business thinking that it would be a resource center for eating disorders. But PCOS followed me. I kept getting phone calls from women looking for help with their eating disorder who mentioned they'd recently been diagnosed with PCOS. Thinking there must be some relationship, I started mentioning the symptoms of the syndrome at local mental health networking meetings. I started getting counseling referrals from eating disorder specialists--and they tended to be women who had initially been diagnosed with bulimia, put into traditional eating disorder treatment, and then a few years later,"relapsed". It was with this"relapse" that the PCOS was diagnosed.

I put that word into quotes, because you can only relapse from a disease you've been treated for…if the treatment you received is for the problem you have. The word blames the person for the diagnosis with the problem.

I have come to believe the problem may lie, in large part, with the caregivers. Eating disorder symptoms are primarily behavioral. There isn't a blood test you can administer, or an x-ray you can examine. And therefore, if you fit a certain criteria, you must have the disorder.

Just as diabetes won't respond to psychotherapy, PCOS, which in many cases is PREdiabetes, won't either.

The problem with PCOS is, the hormonal imbalances it renders can induce the very same behaviors that we use to diagnose eating disorders. Carbohydrate cravings are extreme. Hormones are so out of whack that the only thing that manages them, it seems, is extremes in diet and in activity. And God forbid, if no doctor caught on to your hormone problem and you decided to take things in your own hands…then you have control issues and you have an eating disorder.

What can make it especially challenging to diagnose PCOS, if it has progressed this far, is that the extremes in exercise and diet may, at least temporarily, suppress abnormal labs. It takes a skilled clinician to even see what's going on. I think back to my 3 1/2 years in an inpatient treatment center, and how many young women came to me complaining that as they started to refeed, they were craving carbohydrates. And because it was the treatment center's philosophy, I smiled back and told them all foods could fit.

A lot of eating disorder treatment is about the battle between the clinician, who wants his/her clients to believe that they can get back to eating everything in moderation, and the client wanting to tell the clinician that just isn't so, but playing the game as long as she needs to in order to graduate to the next level move toward discharge.

Last year I wrote to several hundred mental health practitioners who specialized in PCOS, introducing my company and the work I do with PCOS. I described the symptoms and explained to them what I just explained above. I received who knows how many polite responses, thanking me for my interest, but they worked with eating disorders, not PCOS, and there wasn't really a need for my information. I wondered how many thousands of women were sitting in therapy, being told if they just addressed their"issues"…they could beat the problem.

Don't get me wrong, I know there are plenty of issues in PCOS that psychotherapy can benefit. But there's a difference between anxiety over the prom and anxiety driven by excess cortisol levels resulting from a poorly balanced nervous system.

Sometimes I wonder if it's not the same diagnosis, being given a different name depending on the office in which it first shows up?

I sure hope at least some of those women have found my website on the Internet and have benefitted from the information I've learned and posted there since that tenure.