The Hemp Connection:
perspective

Every superhero has a superpower:

• Leaping over tall buildings in a single bound!
• Flying without mechanical assistance!
• X-ray vision!
• Breathing for extended periods under water!
• Becoming invisible!

When I was a child, the superpower I wanted most was to be able to shrink down to about one inch tall, so that I could observe the world without being observed. Although that would still be fun, if I had a superpower now, I would want it to be wiping people clean of mental and physical illness and disease. I wish I had a magical capacity to briefly join energetic forces with my clients, and quickly relieve them of what ails them.

And yet, I am a mere human, so I have to deal with my very human limitations. Since I don’t have a superpower, I apply the capacities I do have – empathy, understanding, relating, connecting, validating, offering technical and scientific education, and utilizing my intuition, among other tools – to the practice of psychotherapy. Although remarkable changes can occur quite quickly in therapy, in reality, it’s not magic, and it’s a process that can take months or even years.

The superpower I have as a therapist though is one that you can use yourself. It’s called reframing, and it’s the practice of taking a negative statement and changing it around into something positive, containing elements of optimism. For example:

• “I have really bad hypoglycemia, and now I have to use this stupid glucose monitor to check my sugars and make sure they’re not too low” BECOMES “I have a special machine that allows me to track my sugars and prevent hypoglycemia, so I feel really good most of the time.”

• “I have to go the doctor every three months for tests related to my PCOS, and I hate going to the doctor!” BECOMES “I have the opportunity to monitor my health closely, and prevent complications.”

• “This disease makes me miserable” BECOMES “I have a chronic condition, AND I can manage it effectively.”

See how the first statement in each example contains elements of negativity, fatalism, pessimism, and victimhood? The counter-statements – the reframes – cite a benefit or positive outcome, and take an assertive stance about owning the quality of your life.

Reframing isn’t useful just for therapists, or women with PCOS, or people with chronic medical conditions. It’s useful in all aspects of your life. Once you start reshaping your language, your thoughts will change, and so will your actions. So it’s not exactly a superpower… I'm okay with that, because it’s a highly effective tool to incorporate into your life.

Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. is a Health Psychologist in private practice in West Los Angeles, California. She specializes in counseling women and couples who are coping with infertility, PCOS, and related endocrine disorders and chronic illnesses.

If you would like to learn more about Dr. HOUSE or her practice, or obtain referrals in the Los Angeles area, please visit her website at www.drhousemd.com, or e-mail her at Gretchen@drhousemd.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @askdrhousemd.

Over the last couple of months, I’ve written extensively about the grief process, and how it applies to PCOS. There is so much to grieve – loss of health, femininity, children, old unhealthy lifestyle choices, even perhaps one’s obesity or body shape. If you missed any of the posts about the grief process, discussing the DABDA model (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance), you can find them archived on the inCYST.com site.

Here are my thoughts on what comes after the grief. When you have a death in your life, there’s typically a funeral, or sometimes a life celebration. This celebration occurs while you’re in the depths of your grief, not when you’ve finished grieving. Grieving can be a lengthy and recurrent process, depending upon the circumstances of your life. Events like a new diagnosis, a miscarriage, or simply the arrival of your period if you’re trying to conceive might all feel like losses. Interspersed with the grief, there are still moments of happiness, humor, and even full-blown joy.

If you’ve started to grieve the losses associated with PCOS, I encourage you to also start your own private life celebration, in concurrence with your grieving. Capitalizing on the bright moments is part of an overall strategy of improving your mood by focusing on the positive. Life celebrations usually include music, food, and the company of people that you love. My life celebration is a constantly evolving practice that focuses on the things I’m grateful for, that support my health and give me deep pleasure. For example, today is my day of rest. I got to sleep in, have a cup of chai with my honey, enjoy some lap time with my cat, practice yoga under my favorite tree, enjoy a delicious, healthy and satisfying breakfast of homemade huevos rancheros and mixed berries, and even get in a short walk at the beach. To cap off the decadence, I’m going for a mani/pedi, and will indulge in my one pointless and naughty hour of serious television watching this evening. Swwwwweeeeeeeet! I feel GOOD, and even though I still have some minor pain due to an ankle injury, I’m celebrating my life. It’s rich and satisfying in many ways. Making this list makes me appreciate it even more.

When I focus on the fabulousness of this list, I’m not focusing on the fact that every day can’t be Sunday, that I need to get up to an alarm clock tomorrow, or that I have to make some unpleasant calls to an insurance company, plus go straighten out something at the bank. I’m just focused on enjoying and celebrating my life – my life with PCOS!

Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. is a Health Psychologist in private practice in West Los Angeles, California. She has completed the inCYST training. She specializes in counseling women and couples who are coping with infertility, PCOS, and related endocrine disorders and chronic illnesses. If you would like to learn more about Dr. HOUSE or her practice, or obtain referrals in the Los Angeles area, please visit her website at www.drhousemd.com, or e-mail her at AskDrHouseMD@gmail.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @askdrhousemd.