Over the last couple of months, I’ve written extensively about the grief process, and how it applies to PCOS. There is so much to grieve – loss of health, femininity, children, old unhealthy lifestyle choices, even perhaps one’s obesity or body shape. If you missed any of the posts about the grief process, discussing the DABDA model (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance), you can find them archived on the inCYST.com site.
Here are my thoughts on what comes after the grief. When you have a death in your life, there’s typically a funeral, or sometimes a life celebration. This celebration occurs while you’re in the depths of your grief, not when you’ve finished grieving. Grieving can be a lengthy and recurrent process, depending upon the circumstances of your life. Events like a new diagnosis, a miscarriage, or simply the arrival of your period if you’re trying to conceive might all feel like losses. Interspersed with the grief, there are still moments of happiness, humor, and even full-blown joy.
If you’ve started to grieve the losses associated with PCOS, I encourage you to also start your own private life celebration, in concurrence with your grieving. Capitalizing on the bright moments is part of an overall strategy of improving your mood by focusing on the positive. Life celebrations usually include music, food, and the company of people that you love. My life celebration is a constantly evolving practice that focuses on the things I’m grateful for, that support my health and give me deep pleasure. For example, today is my day of rest. I got to sleep in, have a cup of chai with my honey, enjoy some lap time with my cat, practice yoga under my favorite tree, enjoy a delicious, healthy and satisfying breakfast of homemade huevos rancheros and mixed berries, and even get in a short walk at the beach. To cap off the decadence, I’m going for a mani/pedi, and will indulge in my one pointless and naughty hour of serious television watching this evening. Swwwwweeeeeeeet! I feel GOOD, and even though I still have some minor pain due to an ankle injury, I’m celebrating my life. It’s rich and satisfying in many ways. Making this list makes me appreciate it even more.
When I focus on the fabulousness of this list, I’m not focusing on the fact that every day can’t be Sunday, that I need to get up to an alarm clock tomorrow, or that I have to make some unpleasant calls to an insurance company, plus go straighten out something at the bank. I’m just focused on enjoying and celebrating my life – my life with PCOS!
Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. is a Health Psychologist in private practice in West Los Angeles, California. She has completed the inCYST training. She specializes in counseling women and couples who are coping with infertility, PCOS, and related endocrine disorders and chronic illnesses. If you would like to learn more about Dr. HOUSE or her practice, or obtain referrals in the Los Angeles area, please visit her website at www.drhousemd.com, or e-mail her at AskDrHouseMD@gmail.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @askdrhousemd.