The Hemp Connection:
self-care

We’re now in the thick of the holiday season, and we’re socializing, eating too much of the wrong things, and talking about gratitude and miracles. At Thanksgiving, in particular, we gave thanks for the year’s blessings. Our loved ones, homes, jobs, and perhaps our health were on the list. For me, this has been a dramatic and miraculous year, when it comes to health.

In August, I was accidentally infected with pasteurella as a result of the bacteria entering my hand through some broken skin while I was pilling my cat. Although I cleaned it and put antibacterial ointment on it, a large purplish black welt quickly formed on my finger, followed by heat, redness, and streaking up to the knuckles, which are classic signs of infection. By the time I reached the emergency room, the streaking had gone to my elbow. This was a terrifyingly quick-moving infection that was threatening to go systemic. The only possible treatment was antibiotics, and lots of them — immediately.

Now, I am loathe to resort to antibiotics unless they’re absolutely necessary – but it did occur to me that I could actually lose my hand, arm, or life – which is exactly what would have happened a hundred years ago. I surrendered to four types of IV antibiotics, a six-day hospital stay, and emergency surgery to save the function of my right index finger. Although my hospital stay was fraught with complications, I am eternally grateful for the miracle of Western medicine and its powerful antibiotics. I have faced other extreme infections in my life, but this was the most serious I’ve ever dealt with. I really do feel it’s a miracle I’m alive.

However, it’s not just these big drama moments in our lives that are miracles. Every moment, I’m a miracle, and so are you. We survive trauma, abuse, bad upbringings, alcoholism and other forms of addiction, PCOS, incompatible spouses, cancer, sick children, and elderly relatives with dementia. We work, we care for ourselves and others, and we do what we can in spite of often seemingly insurmountable obstacles. We struggle through challenging courses in school, minor or major health crises, mental illness, financial downturn, and intense disappointments. We get through the day when it seems as if the day will never end. We restrain our tempers, our tongues, and our appetites. We drive ourselves forward, making giant strides on some days, or crawling on our knees on other days. We survive. We try to thrive.

Instead of lamenting your weight, the size of your thighs, the incredibly annoying behavior of your ADHD child, the way your husband never brings you flowers, your highly imperfect boss, or the fact that you’ve got this damn thing called PCOS, I wonder what it would be like if you instead asked yourself, “How am I a miracle today?” The shift will be powerful. You’ll appreciate yourself more, and love yourself a little more easily. Your self-esteem will soar, when you realize precisely how miraculous you are, right here, in this moment, and always.

Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. is a Health Psychologist in private practice in West Los Angeles, California. She has completed the inCYST training. She specializes in counseling women and couples who are coping with infertility, PCOS, and related endocrine disorders and chronic illnesses.

If you would like to learn more about Dr. HOUSE or her practice, or obtain referrals in the Los Angeles area, please visit her website at www.drhousemd.com, or e-mail her at AskDrHouseMD@gmail.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @askdrhousemd.

You ever have one of those days where everything just seems to come together in the right way? Your hair looks good, your face is clear and bright, your outfit is colorful and flattering, and people are just responding to you in a good way. You’re looking good, and you know it! You FEEL good.

On the flip side, thought, PCOS is there to drag you down when it comes to appearance. We’ve got moustaches, partial and full beards, hair loss, hair in inappropriate places, excess weight (or sometimes not enough weight), acne, skin darkening, skin tags, and other cosmetic indignities galore. How on earth are you supposed to feel good in this body when it’s presenting you with these problems on a daily basis?! Moustaches and muffin tops, indeed!

And that’s just the external stuff. Inside, there are the imbalances that lead to mood swings, depression, and even thoughts of suicide. Insulin resistance, thyroid problems, and other health concerns lurk in the background. All of this can be physically and emotionally exhausting. And when you’re exhausted, it’s easy to give up on appearance. One thing I’ve learned about PCOS is that, although it threatens your physical appearance with masculinizing and unflattering characteristics, you can use positive attention to your appearance to lift your mood.

Part of what I always focus on with my clients is self-care. This may be emotional, spiritual, or physical in nature. I’ve observed that taking time to tend to your appearance as much as reasonably possible (because we don’t want the opposite problem of busting out your budget on shopping, or spending all of your play time at the salon!) results in feeling better. The American Cancer Society sponsors a program called “Look Good, Feel Better,” for women with cancer – it’s a day of make-up application instruction, wig and other hair tricks, and so on – sounds trivial in the face of cancer, but it’s miraculous in how the women respond.

PCOS isn’t cancer, to be sure, but the principles are the same – look good, feel better! I won’t go so far as to say that I “prescribe” pedicures, but maybe I should, and I have in fact recommended them, along with shopping days and other beauty services. Well-tended toes, a pretty top, or some dangly earrings will spark up the girly-girl in most women. For women with PCOS, this is a place that needs a little extra attention. You deserve it.

If there’s something you’ve been neglecting – a haircut, shopping for new bras (yes, you in the stretched out ultra-comfy bra that you haven’t replaced since last year – the one that isn’t doing your breasts any justice at all — I’m talking to you!), doing a wardrobe clean-out and ditching all the unflattering items – it’s a great time to do it. Right now, this very moment. Call your stylist, grab a bag to be filled and donated to Goodwill, or make a call to find out about laser hair removal in your area. Whatever it is, the action will make you feel better.

Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. is a Health Psychologist in private practice in West Los Angeles, California. She specializes in counseling women and couples who are coping with infertility, PCOS, and related endocrine disorders and chronic illnesses.

If you would like to learn more about Dr. HOUSE or her practice, or obtain referrals in the Los Angeles area, please visit her website at www.drhousemd.com, or e-mail her at Gretchen@drhousemd.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @askdrhousemd.

Dear Doctor:

I have, or think I have, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). In any case, I have a lot of symptoms that make my uncomfortable physically and mentally, and I really need your support on this one. Please know:

• I’ve been through a lot. Most doctors haven’t diagnosed me correctly, and I’ve had to deal with a lot of challenges getting to a place where I can try a new doctor, and have some trust that it might actually go well this time.

• I may have one or more female relatives who were undiagnosed and/or untreated for PCOS, and/or who died as a result of PCOS-related complications, such as heart disease, diabetes, or endometrial cancer. I may appear to be fearful and over-anxious as a result.

• I’m frustrated with how long it’s taken to get a diagnosis, not having complete information, and being treated as if my PCOS isn’t an important medical condition.

• I need to be treated with respect, especially when I describe symptoms that don’t make sense to you, or don’t fit the pattern. I need you to stretch your imagination, and ask even more probing questions.

• I may have medical trauma, especially if I’ve had lots of surgeries, one or more miscarriages, failed IVF attempts, a long bout with assisted reproductive technology, or if I received several diagnoses simultaneously. I’m trying not to be scared of you, but I’ve been poked, prodded, questioned, and inspected about as much as I can handle. I’m tired of having blood drawn, trying new prescriptions that don’t work or have horrible side effects, and having to show up at the gynecologist’s office a whole lot more than once a year. I’m tired of devoting huge chunks of my time, income, and emotional resources to chasing after a remedy or a cure. That doesn’t mean I’m not willing to do more, but it does mean that it may take me a bit to adjust to the idea of MORE.

• I need you to be patient while we’re figuring this out, and not give up on me. I understand from talking to other women with PCOS that it can take a while, a number of blood and fasting glucose tests, and some consultation before you can determine for sure that I have PCOS. I also know that sometimes you can’t be 100% sure, but maybe I need the same medical treatment anyway. I’m prepared for that, and I need to know you’re not going to get bored with my case before we’ve figured it out.

• I do my research. I’ve read books and articles about PCOS, and I follow a few blogs and chat boards about PCOS, so I know what other women with PCOS are going through. I know I’m not a doctor, but I may bring you information or questions gleaned from these sources. I hope you’ll take it seriously.

• I have valid opinions about what’s best for me, and sometimes that doesn’t mean traditional western medical care, or prescription medications. Right now, I’m open-minded, and I promise to keep you informed about anything else I’m trying. I hope you’ll support me as I try natural alternatives, dietary management, etc. And if you think something I want to try is actually dangerous to my health, please don’t pull any punches.

• I respect your input, and I still may need time to consider whether your recommendations are what’s best for me. It can be really overwhelming to be in your office, considering a lot of new information, and having to make what feels like very important decisions. Sometimes, I may bring a friend or my significant other with me, to help me stay focused. I still may need additional time to consider the options, and do my own research before I make a decision.

• I need you to be my healthcare partner, and my advocate. I view this as teamwork. You’re the one with the most knowledge about bodies in general, but it’s my body, and I’m definitely the expert on my body. Some other doctors don’t get that, and I need you to advocate on my behalf with them, especially on very important matters, like surgical decisions.

• I need you to be upfront about what this means for my health in the long run. I am willing to do the work to get well and stay well, but I need the big picture. I can’t make appropriate decisions without it. Don’t be afraid of scaring me. I can handle it (even if I do get a little upset in the moment).

• I need you to be aware that it’s very common for women with PCOS to have depression or other mood disorders, and to screen me appropriately, and sometimes with frequency. I need you to be fearless about making referrals when appropriate – and that includes mental health care. If I need a health psychologist, a support group, or some other form of therapy, please tell me so. Thank you!

Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. is a Health Psychologist in private practice in West Los Angeles, California. She specializes in counseling women and couples who are coping with infertility, PCOS, and related endocrine disorders and chronic illnesses.

If you would like to learn more about Dr. HOUSE or her practice, or obtain referrals in the Los Angeles area, please visit her website at www.drhousemd.com, or e-mail her at Gretchen@drhousemd.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @askdrhousemd.