Every superhero has a superpower:
• Leaping over tall buildings in a single bound!
• Flying without mechanical assistance!
• X-ray vision!
• Breathing for extended periods under water!
• Becoming invisible!
When I was a child, the superpower I wanted most was to be able to shrink down to about one inch tall, so that I could observe the world without being observed. Although that would still be fun, if I had a superpower now, I would want it to be wiping people clean of mental and physical illness and disease. I wish I had a magical capacity to briefly join energetic forces with my clients, and quickly relieve them of what ails them.
And yet, I am a mere human, so I have to deal with my very human limitations. Since I don’t have a superpower, I apply the capacities I do have – empathy, understanding, relating, connecting, validating, offering technical and scientific education, and utilizing my intuition, among other tools – to the practice of psychotherapy. Although remarkable changes can occur quite quickly in therapy, in reality, it’s not magic, and it’s a process that can take months or even years.
The superpower I have as a therapist though is one that you can use yourself. It’s called reframing, and it’s the practice of taking a negative statement and changing it around into something positive, containing elements of optimism. For example:
• “I have really bad hypoglycemia, and now I have to use this stupid glucose monitor to check my sugars and make sure they’re not too low” BECOMES “I have a special machine that allows me to track my sugars and prevent hypoglycemia, so I feel really good most of the time.”
• “I have to go the doctor every three months for tests related to my PCOS, and I hate going to the doctor!” BECOMES “I have the opportunity to monitor my health closely, and prevent complications.”
• “This disease makes me miserable” BECOMES “I have a chronic condition, AND I can manage it effectively.”
See how the first statement in each example contains elements of negativity, fatalism, pessimism, and victimhood? The counter-statements – the reframes – cite a benefit or positive outcome, and take an assertive stance about owning the quality of your life.
Reframing isn’t useful just for therapists, or women with PCOS, or people with chronic medical conditions. It’s useful in all aspects of your life. Once you start reshaping your language, your thoughts will change, and so will your actions. So it’s not exactly a superpower… I'm okay with that, because it’s a highly effective tool to incorporate into your life.
Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. is a Health Psychologist in private practice in West Los Angeles, California. She specializes in counseling women and couples who are coping with infertility, PCOS, and related endocrine disorders and chronic illnesses.
If you would like to learn more about Dr. HOUSE or her practice, or obtain referrals in the Los Angeles area, please visit her website at www.drhousemd.com, or e-mail her at Gretchen@drhousemd.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @askdrhousemd.