The Hemp Connection [Search results for gratitude] 

I’ve done a great deal of volunteer work for an organization that helps the families of those who have died by suicide. In their newsletter, there’s a column called “The Gift.” At first, I thought, “how crazy, how obscene, how downright blasphemous – there’s nothing connected to suicide to be grateful for!” But as I read the column for a while, I began to see that even in the darkest acts, there are many unexpected things to be grateful for.

And so it is with PCOS. When I suggest to my clients that there might be something about PCOS that they can be grateful about, I usually get a similar response to the one I described above – or at least a look of disbelief and wonder. Then I explain that there’s always something to appreciate in a medical condition, a job loss, a car accident, or anything else you find unpleasant or undesirable. Sometimes, though, you have to look hard – but if you try hard enough, you can start to name the gratitude items. And when you’re feeling grateful, you’re feeling more positive, and less mired in the depressive, negative thoughts.

I’m going to start the list for you, with some of my personal gratitude items, and then you can continue from there with your own list:

*Some men like curvier women more than skinny women – score one for the plus-size women of the world!
*PCOS isn’t exactly a hot topic yet for the rest of the world, but there’s vastly more research interest in 2011 than there ever was, and that means HOPE.
*There are so many delicious, healthy, PCOS-friendly foods to eat, shop for, explore, and experiment with – today, I made an awesome salad plate out of Italian olive-oil packed tuna, heirloom tomatoes, farmers’ market fruits, and half an avocado with a lemon vinaigrette. That’s not suffering, by any measure. Quite the contrary.
*We have this amazing support system called the internet (and I’m old enough to be able to compare that to a time when I was stuck going to the local library and searching the card file and the dusty biology books to try to figure out what was wrong with me).
*There ARE some people out there who really do get it – especially inCYST’s very own Monika Woolsey, and her team of supportive, interested, and educated psychologists, dieticians, dermatologists, and exercise physiologists who comprise the balance of the inCYST crew.
*We have allies in the most surprising, unexpected, and, dare I say FUN places – how about that hottie Hollywood trainer Craig Ramsay who’s doing the fundraiser for us in August?
*PCOS has made me assert my health as a priority. If I didn’t have PCOS, it’s unlikely that I would be practicing this level of self-care – and I know that what I do is only going to benefit my PCOS in the long run.

I hope my list has given you a couple of laughs, a little inspiration, and a shift of perspective. I encourage you to start your own PCOS gratitude list or journal, and see how it shifts you into a more positive mindset.

Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. is a Health Psychologist in private practice in West Los Angeles, California. She specializes in counseling women and couples who are coping with infertility, PCOS, and related endocrine disorders and chronic illnesses.
If you would like to learn more about Dr. HOUSE or her practice, or obtain referrals in the Los Angeles area, please visit her website at www.drhousemd.com, or e-mail her at Gretchen@drhousemd.com

In honor of Labor Day, citizens of the

U.S.A. observe a national holiday. Quite simply, Labor Day honors the contributions of laborers. We are all laborers, whether in business, the home, or in conducting our lives and caring for our PCOS. I propose that today, we honor our PCOS-related labors.
To that end, I’m giving myself a little holiday break and writing a very short post for today. Great things to do to honor the hard work you do the other 364 days a year include:
· Continuing to eat well today, however you define that, so that your body doesn’t get thrown off-track by over-indulgence in food treats that aren’t really all that awesome for you. · Getting an extra hour or two of sleep – even better, a lazy afternoon nap! · Engaging in vigorous physical exercise outdoors, preferably in a beautiful natural setting. Take a hike, play beach volleyball, or hit the tennis court. · Spending time with friends and family, and engaging in a massive gratitude exercise for all that you DO have.
Happy Labor Day! See you next week.
Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. is a Health Psychologist in private practice in

West Los Angeles,

California. She has completed the inCYST training. She specializes in counseling women and couples who are coping with infertility, PCOS, and related endocrine disorders and chronic illnesses.
If you would like to learn more about Dr. HOUSE or her practice, or obtain referrals in the

Los Angeles area, please visit her website at www.drhousemd.com , or e-mail her at AskDrHouseMD@gmail.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @askdrhousemd.

It’s National Anti-Boredom Month, and I’m thinking about how much of our bad eating habits are triggered by boredom. How often have you sat at home in front of the television, flipping channels, and snacking mindlessly? How about being at work, where you’re trapped in a cubicle you hate, and the only really good reasons to get up are to go to the bathroom, or to go get a snack or a meal? How often do you “need” a snack under these circumstances?

Quite often, we do a semi-decent job of planning ahead for breakfast, maybe even lunch or dinner, but snacks are hazardous territory. And unfortunately, it’s not usually the planned meals that do us in; it’s the random, boredom-based snacking. When you’re bored, it’s a little more complicated than suggested by merely moaning, “I’m bored.” When you’re bored, you’re probably also dealing with at least one of the following:

• Anger about being stuck in a situation you don’t like, or doing a task you don’t want to do, or being with people you don’t necessarily want to be with;

• Feeling trapped/having limited choices;

• Limited mental engagement (you’re under-performing, not challenged enough, or doing something for the millionth time, without thought);

• Fear of being stuck in this sensation of boredom forever;

• Frustration about all of the above.

When all of those things are going on, it’s likely that your brain starts to shut down from the overwhelm. You need soothing. You get a snack. You reach for something carby/fatty/sugary – anything that’s not on your self-determined, approved healthy eating plan. Seriously – have you ever noticed that you’ve just gotta’ have some cold sliced chicken breast, or a cup of low-fat milk? No, it’s much more likely you’re going after chips, salted nuts, chocolate, pastry, cookies, ice cream, or something along those lines. You want a treat, some compensation for your misery. Food is the easiest way to treat yourself. It tastes good. It takes your mind off the other stuff. It gives you something else to focus on.

Next time you’re feeling bored, I suggest the following instead:

• Get off the couch and get outside for a little walk;

• Make a gratitude list, and see how long you stay focused on your boredom;

• Call a friend who’s prone to boredom-based eating (don’t tell me you don’t know anyone!) and ask her to talk you out of it;

• Sneak into the restroom with your cell phone and play a game on it;

• Grab a notepad and start writing with “I am bored because… ” See what happens. Repeat this phrase until the page is full.

Other helpful strategies include:

• Prepare some healthy, balanced snacks in advance, maybe even while you’re feeling bored, and make sure they’re readily accessible in all the places where you’re prone to derailing from your plans.

• Make sure you don’t go too long between meals; you might really be hungry!

• If you just can’t seem to contain your behavior, consult with a mental health practitioner who can help you get to the roots of the behavior.

• Eat enough at your meals; this may mean abandoning the idea of grazing or having five or six small meals a day. What works better for you might actually be three squares a day. You don’t know until you try.

• Make sure your meals consist of a balanced, attractive, and tasty group of foods. That may seem obvious, but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen my patients get frustrated and overdo it on unhealthy snacks, because they’re dying for some carbs, some salt, or a little sweetness.

• If you need help with the food part, hire a dietician who knows something about PCOS.

Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. is a Health Psychologist in private practice in West Los Angeles, California. She has completed the inCYST training. She specializes in counseling women and couples who are coping with infertility, PCOS, and related endocrine disorders and chronic illnesses.

If you would like to learn more about Dr. HOUSE or her practice, or obtain referrals in the Los Angeles area, please visit her website at www.drhousemd.com, or e-mail her at AskDrHouseMD@gmail.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @askdrhousemd.

I've never experienced infertility. I was overweight as a child/teen, but I've been the same weight for most of my adult life. I'm relatively healthy. I'm not saying this to intimidate anyone, but rather to share an insecurity I've had about what I do for a living.

I always wonder how in the world women who have those issues can even find me relevant and helpful if I've never had to experience them?

The last two months have presented me with a situation that, even though it may not be apparent on the outside, has very much changed me on the inside. I've learned a lot about control, gratitude, and what is truly important in life.

And I feel like this journey, challenging as it is, is molding me into someone better equipped to help the people who come to inCYST for help.

Regular readers of the blog will remember that I wrote about my sick kitty in October. I thought I was dealing with a simple urine crystal issue that a diet change would fix. I'm a dietitian, I know how to change diets. This was simple, or so I thought.

Well, Rodeo simply never recovered from the crystal incident. He would not eat. He became lethargic. About a month after the vet visit, I noticed, he just wasn't breathing well. Being the data fiend that I am, I started monitoring his respirations. They seemed stable, so I figured maybe he was allergic to the new diet he'd been prescribed for his urine crystals. I changed back to the old diet and waited to see if he responded.

Then he crashed. I got the last appointment on a Friday evening with his vet, and learned that he was dealing with one of four potential diagnoses. One was a fungal infection (no problem), one of those was a 100% fatal virus (that would require euthanasia), one was cancer (fatal over time), one was heart disease (manageable but life-shortening).

I had to wait almost a week for the pathology report to come back, and to get an appointment for an ultrasound with a cardiologist. (Yes, my cat has more specialists in his Rolodex than I do at this point).

The good news is, it's not the fatal virus, and it's not cancer, but it is heart disease, and it's a serious problem. There is no cure, but there is a lot I can do to manage the situation.

Sound familiar?

I told the vet,"If you can give me heart disease, I'll take heart disease. I can do that." Two sentences I never, ever envisioned coming out of my mouth at any point in my life.

I can tell you this. I have a reputation for being pretty even-keeled in even the most adversarial of situations. During my eating disorder treatment center gig, it was not uncommon for cans of Ensure to be flung my way after a tough counseling session. Nothing phases me after that!

But the night I came home from the vet with a couple of medications and no idea what was happening, I laid on my bed and cried my heart out. I didn't even notice that Rodeo had jumped up on the bed. He felt like crap, and he was sitting there trying to take care of me. I realized, of my two kitties, he is the one most affected by my emotions. And here he was, more concerned about me than about the X-ray, the aspiration, and all the poking and prodding he'd been through.

That was reality check #1. I knew I needed to allow myself to feel what I was feeling, but I needed to learn how to do it in a way that didn't turn itself back on the problem in a negative way.

As I imagine has happened with many of you, my life changed in a mere instant. I became hyper aware of respiratory rates, fluid intake, food intake, urine output, medication times…my life was filled with new details I had no choice but to learn to live with.

Even though I run a business, it's the holidays, and I had committed to coordinating vendors for a huge market here in Phoenix. Even though my five major plans for December revenue pretty much collapsed within days of getting the kitty diagnosis. Somehow, I had to figure out how to make it all work.

This is where I started thinking of all of you. How many of you readers are busy, successful women, juggling a million different responsibilities, happily living out your lives…when you're told you have to start monitoring what you eat, when you eat it, when you ovulate, when you menstruate, what your blood glucose number is…and on top of it all, every expert on the planet expects you to figure out when to work out, to plan the perfect meal combination, each and every meal, to buy the supplements, and on top of it, manage your anxiety, frustration, and anger over the situation?

Do these health professionals even have a clue? Did I ever have a clue with any of my clients I thought I was helping with inCYST? That's what's been going on in my head in the two months since Rodeo's diagnosis.

Reality check #2 for me was realizing what I was doing any time I had a free moment, especially during the week when I didn't know what I was dealing with. I found myself surfing the Internet, Googling symptoms, reading everything I could find about lymphoma and cardiomyopathy, looking for the worst in kitty, looking for anyone, anyone at all, who could tell me that there was a supplement or pill I could give him that would just make this all go away.

That behavior is known as magical thinking. It is a very common thing to do when faced with a situation that leaves you feeling cornered. Getting older. Cancer. Weight that won't come off. Infertility. It's about trying to find something, anything at all, that can give you the illusion that you're in control of something. Note that I used the word illusion. You're really not in control. You've transferred your need to be in control of outcome to a concrete, more manageable option. That's all. The only thing magical thinking succeeds at, is allowing us to avoid the pain of a situation. In many cases, it keeps us distracted from constructive and helpful things we can be doing.

So…knowing from working with all of you that this is what I was doing, I told Rodeo's vet what I do for a living, that I'm a real biochem nerd, and that I was probably dealing with my stress by reading waaay too much about cardiomyopathy. I told him at any time I was becoming annoying and intefering with his treatment plan and Rodeo's progress, he had permission to put me in my place. We negotiated a few things I wanted to try, one we're using, most we're not.

And I am adhering completely to what the doctor ordered. Even if it means staying up past my bedtime to get a med in, even if it means passing on a social invitation if it interferes with the treatment plan, even if it means using money I wanted to spend on something else to buy medication. The vet is not cheap. But he's incredibly smart. If kitty is going to get better, I can't be bargaining with him because of the inconvenience the instructions impose on my life as I wish it was.

Reality check #3 has been about how much control issues can be triggered when life throws a curve ball. We can do everything exactly perfectly. And Rodeo has a bad day. Or Rodeo can go dumpster diving, eat a fish head, throw it up, and be perfectly fine. At least for a day. How Rodeo feels today, is not at all about what I did for him this morning. It is about the consistency of what we do over time.

Oh, I'm so embarrassed to even be saying this, but this simple reality took me awhile to"get". I wanted him to always breathe perfectly. To eat when I gave him the food. To love the deli turkey. It doesn't happen that way. Some days he eats like he's the size of Zenyatta, other days, nothing strikes his fancy. I have had to learn to roll with it, and to not view one incident as failure, but as a challenge to figure out what another option might be.

On the days when things don't go as planned, I have to adjust my life. Yesterday morning, for example, meds did not go in at 8 am as scheduled. I spent 4 hours getting them in, but realizing that the four hours it took to make that happen was four hours I'd planned to spend making my contribution for a holiday potluck I was to attend tonight…I made the choice to cancel my attendance, focus on medication, and spend the evening tonight taking care of myself here at home.

Reality check #4. You know what happened when I stopped stressing about how I was going to do both the medications and the potluck and OMG what happens if I'm at the potluck and he bottoms out?!?!?! Rodeo settled in to one of the absolute best respiratory patterns and ate better for me than he did all week. I suspect he picked up on my more relaxed demeanor and was able to put energy into himself that he was putting into me. Some of the things I am inadvertently doing affect kitty as much, if not more, than the things I am supposed to be doing.

Reality check #5. I sometimes find myself getting annoyed at people complaining about things that now seem minor in the big scheme of things. All these people complaining about having to much to do for Christmas? In my eyes they are lucky they are able to participate. I have to remind myself, their situations are different and even though I might envy them, in their own scenarios are lessons from the Universe in action that may not include a cat. Still working on that one.

There are many early Christmas gifts this situation has brought me.

First of all, I have kitty happily sleeping on the bed today. He doesn't fit into a stocking and probably wouldn't consent to it if he did…but he's here compliments of two of Santa's finest elves…er…angels in elves' clothing, Dr. Oyan and Dr. Paige.

Secondly, my priorities, as healthy as I thought they were, needed some addressing. I have been able to let go of situations that I simply have no time to accommodate. I have more time to myself, since I'm home more, and that has given me quiet time to think about what inCYST will be for all of you in 2011. I hope you like the inspirations you'll see in the next 12 months.

Thirdly, I feel like I have a much better idea of what it is that you all need from inCYST in the first place. I am still at a disadvantage for not having experience every single thing you all have exactly as you have, but I have been humbled, I'm dealing with a challenge, and it cause me to consider every inCYST choice I make in an entirely different fashion. Humility is never a bad thing on which to base intention.

Fourthly, I've learned that it's not always bad if success has to be redefined. Of course I'd love it if there was a cure for cardiomyopathy. But there isn't. I can be angry about it, not follow the vet's instructions because I managed to find an obscure website on the Internet that contradicted them, turn to supplements which would put more control in my hands than his, or do nothing and hope the Calgon cardiomyopathy fairy will just swoop in and whisk us away to Kitty Tahiti.

None of that is going to happen. I got over it, decided to listen to the vet, and to redefine success as staying informed, being proactive and communicative with new information, and to the best of my ability, prioritize my life so that I can enact the recommendations I've been provided with. It's slowly turning things around. Not curing them. But, gratefully, allowing kitty to breathe. Oxygen in heart cells…is a lot more important than a complete and total cure. We have learned to think simply.

Finally, I still don't know what it is like to be infertile, not be able to lose weight, or live with insulin resistance. But at least I am more aware of how important it is to always remember that no matter who are you are, when you look to inCYST for help, guidance, support, inspiration, your story, especially the part we don't know about, or cannot immediately relate to, is important to consider in everything we say and do.

I hope all of you are enjoying your holiday season, whatever customs you practice.

One last thing. To all of my friends who are tired of hearing me talk endlessly about the cat, now that he's stabilizing I can get back to the gym and put the stress there. I appreciate all of your ears and support.

Research has repeatedly shown that people who write down their goals are much more likely to meet them. As we wrap up 2011, and head into 2012, I invite you to write down your goals for the new year, as they relate to your health and self-care. Here are some suggestions to get you started.

• Choose from the following list of self-care behaviors, and try one each week, or each month:

o Learn how to meditate.

o Go to a yoga class.

o Eliminate sodas/pop from your diet.

o Get a consultation with a psychiatrist if you think medication might help your depression or anxiety.

o Find a new doctor if you don’t like the one you have.

o Get your hormones tested.

o Find out what low glycemic eating is all about.

o Take an afternoon to go on an “artist’s date” – do something that fuels your creativity, delights your senses, and brings you joy.

o Cook at home, twice as often as you do now.

o Rearrange your schedule so that you actually are getting enough sleep (eight hours, please).

o Get some practice with boundary-setting. Start small. Say “NO” to someone or something you don’t want to do. Be clear and firm. Do not apologize. Applaud yourself.

o Walk for 30 minutes after dinner, every night. Walk with a friend or loved one, and double the benefit.

o Call a friend you haven’t seen or spoken to in months.

o Read something more meaningful than People magazine.

o Stop watching the news right before you go to bed. Better yet, put yourself on a “news diet” for an entire week.

o Go to therapy.

o Keep a journal.

o Stop conning yourself that French fries are a vegetable.

o Go to a farmers’ market, and buy one weird, unusual, or new vegetable or fruit that you haven’t tried before; ask the farmer how to prepare it.

o Have sex more often, with yourself or someone you love.

o Consult with a professional, inCYST-trained dietician.

o Start a gratitude practice. Every morning when you get up, write down five things that you’re grateful for. Do the same every night. Try not to be repetitive.

o Tell someone in very clear terms precisely why you value them.

o Reduce your caffeine intake.

o Switch from milk chocolate to dark chocolate.

• Share your list with a friend, and ask her to serve as an accountability buddy for you. Her job is to ask you each week, “Did you do what you intended to do? Why or why not? How did it feel to do it? Are you going to keep doing it?” If you’re feeling brave, blog it, post it somewhere in your house or office, or share it with your FaceBook friends. Accountability is an amazing thing in helping us adhere to our goals.

• Be gentle on yourself if you fail, are slowed down for some reason, or give up on some aspects entirely. Life is full of hazards, roadblocks, and other impactful situations. You cannot control them; you can only adapt.

Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. is a Health Psychologist in private practice in West Los Angeles, California. She has completed the inCYST training. She specializes in counseling women and couples who are coping with infertility, PCOS, and related endocrine disorders and chronic illnesses.

If you would like to learn more about Dr. HOUSE or her practice, or obtain referrals in the Los Angeles area, please visit her website at www.drhousemd.com, or e-mail her at AskDrHouseMD@gmail.com. You can also follow her on Twitter

We just received another success story. I believe that cyster-to-cyster encouragement goes a whole lot farther than anything we professionals could ever say to motivate, so here is a note from one of our fans.

I know how much you love success stories, so I'm happy to let you know of some progress that I've made in my health. Much of this is a result of implementing ideas from your blog and radio show, so I owe you a debt of gratitude:
- I just received some blood test results. My HDL is 69, my LDL is 67 (!), and my triglycerides are 44 (!!). (Thank you, fish oil!) Also, my glucose is 88, and my HbA1C is 5.2. (Thank you, metformin — hopefully someday I won't need you!)

- Since July 1, 2010, I have lost almost thirty pounds, with very few episodes of binge eating.

- I'm faithfully going to yoga every week, and I'm going to run a 5K series this spring — seven races!

- I started sleeping with a sleep mask, as unfortunately it's not feasible for me to sleep in complete darkness.

- I'm still trying to conceive, but am not without hope. My GYN is pushing me to use injectable gonadotropins, but deep down I strongly feel it's not the right path. Even if it means delaying having a baby at my advanced age (38), I'd rather continue to use natural means to try to improve my health first rather than resort to the extreme quick fix.

Each and every one of these letters is like a shot of adrenaline. Because it's not really how much information we put up here that matters, it's knowing it's being incorporated into lives and making a difference.

Thanks for keeping in touch!

(Hee hee, even though you've reinforced my reputation as the person who thinks fish oil is good for everything, it sounds like in this case it really was good for something!)

One of the recurring themes I see in my clients is a lack of self-care. This is one of the indicators that I am working with someone who is depressed. Self-care is often one of the first things to go by the wayside. By self-care, I mean the obvious as well as the things that aren’t so obvious. Obvious aspects of self-care include eating regularly, getting enough sleep, drinking enough water, and taking a shower regularly. Without these basic items being taken care of consistently, your life isn’t going to function very well. Less obvious aspects of self-care that are often lacking include: • Tending to quality of sleep, as well as quantity • Eating a diet that works for your particular body, on a consistent basis • Maintaining decent work hours • Making time for family, friends, and your spouse/partner • Going to therapy • Practicing safe sex • Not driving while drunk • Consulting with qualified health practitioners about your PCOS • Going to yoga • Starting a meditation practice If you’re not engaging in these forms of self-care, your quality of life will be low, your relationships will suffer, and your health will ultimately decline. Above and beyond these basics, there’s a whole host of other things you can do that comprise a complete package of self-care. These might include: • Engaging in clear and open communication • Having a spiritual practice • Making time for art, music, and culture • Practicing a hobby • Shopping at the Farmers’ Markets • Getting massages, manicures, and pedicures • Taking an occasional “mental health day” from work • Doing something silly, juvenile, or useless, just because it’s fun • Having date nights with your spouse/partner • Taking time to play – really play – by yourself or with your friends or children • Getting acupuncture • Keeping a journal • Finding a community of like-minded individuals, and making time for them • Cooking from scratch • Taking a mid-afternoon nap when you need it • Deciding that there are some things that really aren’t worth doing – and then not doing them • Saying “no” to people you don’t like, causes you don’t care about, and anything else that makes you feel irritable, disgruntled, miserable, or resentful • Practicing gratitude • Buying candles – the expensive lavender ones from that little boutique, if that’s what tickles your fantasy • Engaging in community service that pleases you on a variety of levels • Getting real about what size you wear, and getting comfortable about it • Hiring help when you need it • Ordering dessert occasionally • Deciding you don’t care what other people think As you can see, there are many levels to self-care, or emotional nutrition. When you know what you need to do to feed your body, brain, heart, and soul, your priorities become clearer, you’re calmer, and you experience more life satisfaction. Quite often, you’ll find that symptoms of depression decrease. How about making your own list, and committing to practice at least item on it every day? Check in with yourself after a week, and again at 30 days. Note what’s changed. Keep practicing. Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. is a Health Psychologist in private practice in West Los Angeles, California. She has completed the inCYST training. She specializes in counseling women and couples who are coping with infertility, PCOS, and related endocrine disorders and chronic illnesses. If you would like to learn more about Dr. HOUSE or her practice, or obtain referrals in the Los Angeles area, please visit her website at www.drhousemd.com, or e-mail her at AskDrHouseMD@gmail.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @askdrhousemd.

We’re now in the thick of the holiday season, and we’re socializing, eating too much of the wrong things, and talking about gratitude and miracles. At Thanksgiving, in particular, we gave thanks for the year’s blessings. Our loved ones, homes, jobs, and perhaps our health were on the list. For me, this has been a dramatic and miraculous year, when it comes to health.

In August, I was accidentally infected with pasteurella as a result of the bacteria entering my hand through some broken skin while I was pilling my cat. Although I cleaned it and put antibacterial ointment on it, a large purplish black welt quickly formed on my finger, followed by heat, redness, and streaking up to the knuckles, which are classic signs of infection. By the time I reached the emergency room, the streaking had gone to my elbow. This was a terrifyingly quick-moving infection that was threatening to go systemic. The only possible treatment was antibiotics, and lots of them — immediately.

Now, I am loathe to resort to antibiotics unless they’re absolutely necessary – but it did occur to me that I could actually lose my hand, arm, or life – which is exactly what would have happened a hundred years ago. I surrendered to four types of IV antibiotics, a six-day hospital stay, and emergency surgery to save the function of my right index finger. Although my hospital stay was fraught with complications, I am eternally grateful for the miracle of Western medicine and its powerful antibiotics. I have faced other extreme infections in my life, but this was the most serious I’ve ever dealt with. I really do feel it’s a miracle I’m alive.

However, it’s not just these big drama moments in our lives that are miracles. Every moment, I’m a miracle, and so are you. We survive trauma, abuse, bad upbringings, alcoholism and other forms of addiction, PCOS, incompatible spouses, cancer, sick children, and elderly relatives with dementia. We work, we care for ourselves and others, and we do what we can in spite of often seemingly insurmountable obstacles. We struggle through challenging courses in school, minor or major health crises, mental illness, financial downturn, and intense disappointments. We get through the day when it seems as if the day will never end. We restrain our tempers, our tongues, and our appetites. We drive ourselves forward, making giant strides on some days, or crawling on our knees on other days. We survive. We try to thrive.

Instead of lamenting your weight, the size of your thighs, the incredibly annoying behavior of your ADHD child, the way your husband never brings you flowers, your highly imperfect boss, or the fact that you’ve got this damn thing called PCOS, I wonder what it would be like if you instead asked yourself, “How am I a miracle today?” The shift will be powerful. You’ll appreciate yourself more, and love yourself a little more easily. Your self-esteem will soar, when you realize precisely how miraculous you are, right here, in this moment, and always.

Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. is a Health Psychologist in private practice in West Los Angeles, California. She has completed the inCYST training. She specializes in counseling women and couples who are coping with infertility, PCOS, and related endocrine disorders and chronic illnesses.

If you would like to learn more about Dr. HOUSE or her practice, or obtain referrals in the Los Angeles area, please visit her website at www.drhousemd.com, or e-mail her at AskDrHouseMD@gmail.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @askdrhousemd.

Chatted with Beth Wolf tonight, and she summarized the list of walk-a-thon sponsors.

It's an honor to see so much support the first time out! Ladies, they believe in you, and that's a wonderful thing.

Please, if you ever have an opportunity to make a spending choice, consider supporting the companies who support YOUR health, by supporting our goal to fund research:

Growing Naturals Growers and makers of organic, raw, soy-free, gluten-free, vegan brown rice protein powder and milk
Maxim Hygiene Organic women's hygiene products
St. Joseph's Hospital Sponsors of local PCOS support group
Boston IVF New infertility clinic in New Hampshire
Arizona Mesquite Company High protein, gluten-free, diabetes-friendly baking flour with a decidely Southwestern flavor
Beauty Foods Nutricosmetic (nutrition supplement for skin health) that is also sleep promoting
Cerene Linens Specially designed bed linens to keep you cool through the night
Stonyfield Organic yogurt
Ibitta Specializing in natural supplements made with diabetes and weight management in mind

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In my psychotherapy practice, I hear comments like these every day. Many of my clients have low self-esteem, and run a constant stream of mental verbal abuse. It may stem from an abusive background (the things their parents said to them are embedded at this point), frustrating health conditions that are difficult to manage, or having a tendency to find unhealthy relationships. Not knowing how to create change is another reason for this kind of self-talk. Lots of things can trigger self-abuse, and it usually doesn’t take much. Many of us are all too good at starting the litany of self-abuse. For some of us, it’s a 24 hour a day practice.

What is the result of this constant barrage of mean, unproductive, and even cruel commentary? Feeling bad goes to feeling worse, depression is exacerbated, motivation decreases, and sometimes an eating, drinking, spending, or sexual binge is set off because a woman feels and thinks, “What’s the point? I can’t change. This is too hard. I’ll never figure it out. This isn’t worth it. I’m not worth it.”

I want you to stop beating yourself up – NOW. There are enough negatives coming in from external sources (bad grades, an unappreciative spouse, kids who walk all over you, the competitive types at the gym who sneer at your efforts, the not-so-subtle one-upmanship of your friend who has a much larger clothing budget, etc.). You need to combat all of that with positive self-talk, and a commitment to deleting the negative statements from your vocabulary. Every time you start with the negative self-talk, write it down, and immediately counter it in writing with a positive statement. For example:

• “I look like crap” becomes “I have some extra weight because of my PCOS, but I’ve made huge improvements in my diet and exercise program – and I’m getting there. And I still dress really cute. That matters.”

• “I’m stupid” is countered with “I’m smart, and there’s lots of evidence to prove it – I had a 3.9 GPA, and three people (name them) told me I was smart in the last month.”

• “I don’t know how to be happy” gets countered with “happiness is a process, and I’m taking important steps to achieve it, like journaling, going to therapy, and keeping a gratitude list.”

Your language is powerful, and it’s a choice. It impacts your sense of well-being, productivity, and even your health. By choosing positive language for your self-talk, it also shifts your interactions with other people. More importantly, it shifts your sense of self, and improves your self-esteem. Only you have the power to do that.

Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. is a Health Psychologist in private practice in West Los Angeles, California. She has completed the inCYST training. She specializes in counseling women and couples who are coping with infertility, PCOS, and related endocrine disorders and chronic illnesses.

If you would like to learn more about Dr. HOUSE or her practice, or obtain referrals in the Los Angeles area, please visit her website at www.drhousemd.com, or e-mail her at AskDrHouseMD@gmail.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @askdrhousemd.

There’s been a great deal of attention lately to the practice of “positive psychology,” which focuses on optimism, gratitude, and creating hopefulness. Some of us are optimists by nature, while some are pessimists. Either can be learned, and there are some advantages to each approach. Personally, I veer toward the optimistic side, which informs my clinical practice. Quite often, when people seek therapy, they are feeling hopeless, helpless, and not even remotely optimistic. They’re depressed, anxious, and out of sorts. If they’ve got PCOS, there’s a good chance that their moods are more easily affected by stress than those of other folks. They don’t know how to handle what’s going on in their lives effectively. The smallest stressors send them out of synch. If they are, by nature, the pessimistic type, they often feel validated in their suffering. They believe that they deserve to feel bad, that life isn’t fair, and that there’s very little that can be done to improve things. And yet, they show up. I see the act of showing up as an act of bravery, and the indicator that there is some hope to be found, even if it’s hidden away. What I look for is the tiniest hint – a mere pinprick of light in an otherwise bleak landscape – that indicates a positive potential lies inside my client. It may take some digging, and perhaps some persuading and negotiating, but if we can find just the tiniest thing to be positive or hopeful about, it is encouraging, and it’s something we can build on in their therapy. Sometimes I have to plant a few seeds and it takes a very long time for those seeds to germinate. In the therapy, I keep watering the seeds, fertilizing them, and cultivating the ground until it’s fertile enough to support their growth. Sometimes, the ground is weak, under-nourished, or even toxic from years of damaging abuse, violence, depression, and unhealthy relationships. That may mean that I need to hold hope for the client until she can hold it for herself. My relentless optimism, a double-edged sword (because sometimes I mainly see the good where there is a great deal of bad) is a tool here. Clients occasionally wonder, given what they present to me, how I could possibly find a bright spot in any of it. I’m not sure precisely how I do it, but I guess that it comes from having an intention of finding hope, and a keen eye for the openings. Years of practice tells me that it works. When you’re frustrated to the ends of the earth and back, and you really can’t believe that anything will ever change, and you’ve got a list of dark, negative things that you’re focusing on, you’ll continue to identify with the pessimistic aspects of yourself. But if you can find that one tiny seed, and focus on it every day, it will begin to grow. Your mood and attitude are like the sunshine that every garden plot needs. Remember though that darkness is a necessary part of the germination process. The sun doesn’t have to shine on a seedling all day long to make it do its thing. You don’t either. Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. is a Health Psychologist in private practice in West Los Angeles, California. She has completed the inCYST training. She specializes in counseling women and couples who are coping with infertility, PCOS, and related endocrine disorders and chronic illnesses. If you would like to learn more about Dr. HOUSE or her practice, or obtain referrals in the Los Angeles area, please visit her website at www.drhousemd.com, or e-mail her at AskDrHouseMD@gmail.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @askdrhousemd.