Unless you've been living under a rock, you know our comrades in the gay community have taken some major hits in past weeks. Many of my Facebook friends posted the video by Ellen DeGeneres. One asked,"What are YOU going to do?"
Later that day, I was spending the evening with friends. The theme of conversation turned to bad doctor experiences. Luisa, a lesbian woman with PCOS, shared that during an appointment she had made for her annual gynecological physical, her physician told her she didn't need to have these physicals, because she was not having sex with men.
There is concrete evidence that lesbian women have a higher incidence of PCOS, and therefore a GREATER need to be in more frequent with reproductive specialists. Whether or not they are in a relationship, and whoever that relationship may be with. If my friend had been heterosexual, and not in a relationship, I'm willing to bet that is not the advice she would have received from that physician.
I was floored, but I was grateful for the inspiration. What I was going to DO, as my Facebook friend encouraged us to think about, was use this blog advocate for equal access to quality healthcare for homosexuals.
Over the years, I've witnessed attitudes and heard comments that should never have existed.
In my last job, at an eating disorder treatment center, my supervisor pulled me aside after a meeting and asked me what I thought about the possibility that a treatment center for men would be added to our organization. I thought it was a great idea. At the time, there really was no place for men with eating disorders to go.
She acted surprised."But you know what that means, don't you?"
"Um…that men who couldn't get help before can be helped?"
She hesitated."Well, yeah, but…"
I was in the dark."But…?"
"We'll have to start treating gays."
I didn't work long for that company. I couldn't work in a place where an attitude prevailed, that some people are more deserving of help than others.
Now I am realizing that not only do I have an obligation to not work for an employer who would foster such attitudes, I need to speak out to my fellow healthcare professionals and not request, but demand, that you treat all of your patients with equal respect and offer them equality of service, regardless of their religious, political, cultural, or gender orientation.
If we were in a pathology lab, and I asked you to pick out the Republican spleen, or the Methodist pineal gland, or the Icelandic aorta, or the lesbian wisdom tooth…you couldn't do it. Because on the inside, we are all alike.
If I asked you, however, to point out the PCOS liver (likely to be fatty), or ovary (containing cysts), you would be able to do so, in a moment. THAT is what we were trained to do. Help our patients with the things that may not be working so well, while being blind to what kind of packaging they come in. As helping professionals, we don't have the luxury of categorizing our patients in ways that give us reasons not to care. We do our work because we DO care.
One of my very first inCYST success stories was actually a lesbian couple. A young woman helped me to organize a class, and I noticed that she was more engaged and took more notes than anyone else who attended. I stayed after class and learned that she and her partner had been, unsuccessfully, trying to conceive. She realized in the class she had many of the symptoms of PCOS, but no one had ever worked her up for it.
We had a most enlightening discussion about what it is like to be lesbian and to be seeking reproductive services. About how much thought this couple put into who they would even trust to ask for help. About how it felt to sit in the waiting room of the doctor and know that the couple across the way is looking at you the way they are for reasons that aren't so compassionate.
It opened my eyes to how much, as a Caucasian, heterosexual, Christian woman, I take for granted when I pick up the phone and make a physician appointment. I simply pick up the phone, set the date, show up, and get what I came for. I don't have to research who to go to, emotionally gear up, deal with bizarre responses, or leave without what I came for because someone thought I didn't need or deserve it.
PCOS sort of followed me, it wasn't the other way around. But now that it has become my life's work, I want every woman who knows about inCYST to understand, and trust, that no matter who you are, where you came from, how different your life may be from mine, that there is information and support for you here. You are special, and you are important, and if the information we have is pertinent to your situation, it is our honor to use it to create a healthy path for your journey through life.
Agrawal R, Sharma S, Bekir J, Conway G, Bailey J, Balen AH, Prelevic G. Prevalence of polycystic ovaries and polycystic ovary syndrome in lesbian women compared with heterosexual women. Fertil Steril. 2004 Nov;82(5):1352-7.