I recently accepted a challenge from a friend who is a proficient swimmer, to learn to swim the butterfly stroke. It's going to take awhile, it's not an easy stroke to learn, and right now I'm completely floundering in the water. But that isn't stopping me. I am having an absolute blast learning something new! I walk around the house doing the"air butterfly" stroke…and every time I swim, I can see some improvement. And even though I currently refer to my version of this stroke as the"epileptic butterfly"…I am so excited when I realize it's a day I get to hit the pool!
Awhile back when I was taking golf lessons, I mentioned to a friend that I didn't understand why women weren't on golf courses, given the fact that all my girlfriends complain they can't meet men and this is a place where there is no shortage of them. He shared his observation that women often don't do things unless they can do them perfectly on the first try. And golf takes a lot of patience and persistence.
I would have to agree with him. I once volunteered at a charity golf tournament and noticed a distinct difference between the way men and women teed off. The men were completely focused on their stroke, from the backstroke all the way through follow-through. The women all seemed to stop halfway through to see how far they'd hit their ball…then their body would slump, as if to communicate that they weren't happy with their stroke.
WELL OF COURSE YOU CAN'T BE HAPPY ABOUT IT, YOU ONLY DID IT HALFWAY BEFORE YOUR SELF-ESTEEM SABOTAGED YOUR SUCCESS!!!
I was thinking about that golf conversation as I swam…er…floundered in the pool this weekend. Thinking I would never, ever get this butterfly thing down if I approached it the way I saw so many women play golf. You just have to do it and not worry about perfection!
I've heard women give so many excuses for not exercising.
1. They can't do yoga because they can't do the positions correctly.
2. They can't swim because they never learned the proper stroke.
3. They can't play _________________ because they never learned.
4. They can't put on active wear because they don't like how they look.
What's your excuse? And why do you keep making it?
One of my biggest pet peeves is when active and already fit people snicker at someone who is making the effort to move their body. I always make sure, when that happens, to remind them,"At least the person is out there moving, how do you think that body is going to change?"
And when my clients suggest that they can't work out because they can't do something correctly, or they're not good enough to be competetive with others who do the same sport, I have one word. Lessons. I found my golf classes at the local community college. Years ago, I took a ski lesson my first day on the slopes, sent my then-boyfriend off to ski to his heart's content, then met up with him in the afternoon to show him what I'd learned. He wasn't held back, and we had so much to talk about when we finally met up!
As for yoga, there is no right or wrong position. The right thing is…that you show up at class and you try. And you persist long enough to feel the benefits.
I notice that many exercise sites on the 'net are created by people who are already fit. It's nice that they have a lot of ideas, and encouragement, and that they want to show you how fit THEY are…but when I put myself in the shoes of someone who's not there yet, I imagine it doesn't really help to see someone with a lean, muscular body tell you about how good they are at what they do.
Just know, we're not all perfect. The most important thing is that you exercise because it's something you enjoy, and that it doesn't really matter what anyone thinks of your form.
What matters is that you do something good for yourself.
It's the surest way to break free of your old"why I can't" rules and feel as free as a (non-epileptic) butterfly.