By now, we’ve all heard that Columbus accidentally discovered America (sorry to take away your tooth fairy fantasies if I’m breaking the news to you). Obviously, there were some significant benefits to that, for those of us who live here. Since today is Columbus Day, it got me thinking about the benefits of accidental discoveries.
• A woman on a road trip with her aunt, who is the only one licensed and insured to drive in a foreign country, discovers that the maps she was so incompetent with in grammar school are actually easy to read, and kind of fun, even in Italian; she sees herself in a whole new light after this trip, and now declares herself proudly to be a great navigator.
• You’re reading a book about fashion, and discover there’s a color poetically named eau de nil, essence of nothing (a light watery grayish blue), and that it looks utterly fabulous with mustard and chalky purple.
• Someone spills chopped-up chocolate in a batch of cookie dough, and the Toll House Cookie is born. Enough said!
• There’s a marathon cutting through your neighborhood, which forces you to take the freeway to your destination – and you discover that it actually saves you ten minutes (I’m in Los Angeles, by the way, if you’re sitting there shaking your head and thinking, “Doesn’t taking the freeway always save you time? What is she talking about?”).
• You start taking walks after dinner every night for half an hour, because dusk is pleasant, you might catch a sunset, and it’s great time to share the day with your beloved – and your fasting blood sugars start going down.
• You wear a pair of sterling silver rings into the mineral hot springs and discover that all that sulfur oxidizes silver in no time flat, and that it’s pretty much irreversible, yet delightfully trendy.
All of these accidental discoveries focus on an unexpected positive. Of course there are accidental discoveries that have an entirely different feel to them – discovering your spouse in bed with another woman, discovering that your cat has left a hairball on your pillow, learning that milk CAN spoil without smelling bad first, etc. – but the point is here that that unexpected is often delightful, beneficial, tasty, time-saving, or beautiful. It might even be healthful.
We spend so much time trying to control the uncontrollable, identifying and mitigating variables, and taking steps to limit our exposure to surprises. Yet the most important and wonderful experiences we have may occur entirely as the result of accident, misjudged timing, or being willing to consider the inconceivable.
In therapy, change is achieved by stepping outside of the limits of what we think we know. (If we really KNEW, we’d have resolved the problem on our own by now, right?) The brain LIKES surprises, thrives on them, and actually seeks them for growth. Making space for the unexpected – who knew that could be a health enhancement strategy?!
Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. is a Health Psychologist in private practice in West Los Angeles, California. She specializes in counseling women and couples who are coping with infertility, PCOS, and related endocrine disorders and chronic illnesses.
If you would like to learn more about Dr. HOUSE or her practice, or obtain referrals in the Los Angeles area, please visit her website at www.drhousemd.com, or e-mail her at Gretchen@drhousemd.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @askdrhousemd.