I just helped a journalist friend out, who was writing an article about how to develop healthier summer eating habits for kids. Much of what I emphasized was being sure that the foods you WANT your kids to eat, are the foods you make it easy for them to eat. And the sodas, chips, ice cream, etc.? They just don't come home from the grocery store.
On that theme, here's my question I pose to you.
If you know that ice cream is your trigger food, and you bring it home, what you are essentially saying, to yourself, is that you intend to binge. You are planning to do it. I don't care what your rationale is in the moment--my husband wants it, this time I'm going to eat it without bingeing, etc…if you bring it home from the store, you intend to eat it yourself in counterproductive quantities.
That may feel uncomfortable to hear, but it needs to come into your consciousness and make you uncomfortable in order for you to think about how to handle your trigger food differently.
I love ice cream. And I eat it when I want it. But I don't keep it in the house. My reasoning is that if I'm willing to get off the sofa, put my shoes on, get in the car, and drive to the store, I've thought an awful lot about that choice and it's probably ok to have it. But if all I have to do is walk in the kitchen and grab the spoon and the container…well…we all know where that goes.
Several years ago I had a client who was pushed to tears during a session over a tub of cookies she'd purchased at Costco, then proceeded to binge completely through. As we processed the incident, she said,"But I should be able to bring that tub of cookies home and not binge on it."
I shared with her that I would never bring that tub home, because it would be too easy to indulge instead of making healthier choices. It was a set up, and Costco likely preferred it that way, because your buying into the belief that you can eat one or two and not eat the entire tub, drives the need for you to go back and buy more!
She looked at me, incredulous, and said,"You mean you don't bring that stuff home?" I said no, I have lots of fruits and vegetables and hummous, things I can eat more often that I enjoy but don't eat mindlessly or binge on.
She thought for a minute and said,"You know, my husband says the same thing. Just don't bring it home."
It never occurred to her that she was setting herself up to fail instead of to succeed. It wasn't just her behavior with food that was distorted, her expectations of her self were distorted to the point of being superhuman.
I encourage all of you to take a mindful moment before you stand in line at the grocery store, look at your cart, and ask yourself,"Why am I bringing these foods home?" Any food you cannot honestly say, is being purchased with intent to nourish, should be removed from the cart. Drive out to Dairy Queen if you must, but don't set yourself up by bringing it home.
If you cannot remember to do that, and I do believe women with food issues get into such a"zone" in the store that they may not remember, I encourage you to shop with an accountability buddy. Someone who will get in your face when you make counterproductive choices, who will keep you from letting those choices slide through checkout, into your bag, and into your kitchen. Not someone you can schmooze into allowing you to sabotage the outing, perhaps because she feels most connected to you when you're not succeeding with changing your behavior.
It's a simple question, but one well worth asking.
Why are you even bringing it home?