We can be so caught up in the symptoms and issues related to our PCOS that we forget about the other people in our lives, especially the men. We don’t really think of men as being impacted by PCOS – after all, they can’t actually have the condition, and they certainly don’t have ovaries. But think about all the men in your life, including your partner/spouse, siblings, fathers, other relatives, coaches and teachers, colleagues and bosses, and you’ll realize that there are quite a few of them who may be impacted by your PCOS.
Some of the myriad ways in which men may be impacted:
• Going through the emotionally challenging path of infertility diagnosis and treatment;
• Worrying about the short-term and long-term impacts of PCOS on your health;
• Being the victims of some particularly strong mood swings;
• Having to cope with our unpredictable and intense food cravings;
• Non-existent libido or excessively high libido (how’s a man to know which way is up?!);
• Experiencing powerlessness to “fix” the problem;
• Being frustrated because there’s so little they can actually do to help with PCOS; and
• Feeling financial stress because of costly or alternative treatments that aren’t covered by insurance, but go so far to improve quality of life.
You may want to consider including the men in your life in your PCOS care in more proactive ways. They can get involved in fund-raising for PCOS research (this is something they can DO, and men like concrete action). They can go to doctor’s appointments with you. They can study PCOS nutrition and learn how to cook with you in healthier ways. They can read this blog to get further education.
Just like you, when a man knows something about what he’s dealing with, he feels empowered and more motivated to help. He may also develop a better understanding of how there are many things that aren’t his fault, or anyone else’s fault really, and that you just have more challenging days than some other women, because of your PCOS. He may also develop a better understanding of your fears and worries, which may lead to improved communication and a deepening intimacy between you. He may even learn enough to help diagnose another woman who doesn’t know she has PCOS yet. There are many benefits to including the men in your life in your PCOS, and most of them will improve your own quality of life with PCOS.
Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. is a Health Psychologist in private practice in West Los Angeles, California. She has completed the inCYST training. She specializes in counseling women and couples who are coping with infertility, PCOS, and related endocrine disorders and chronic illnesses.
If you would like to learn more about Dr. HOUSE or her practice, or obtain referrals in the Los Angeles area, please visit her website at www.drhousemd.com, or e-mail her at AskDrHouseMD@gmail.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @askdrhousemd.